Got Time. Got Wine. Let’s Be Friends.

Charlene Ann Mildred
The Masterpiece
Published in
4 min readMay 4, 2023

Friendships are a lot like wine. They take time to age, mature and develop flavors that you come to love. The first time you try a new bottle of wine, it might taste poorly. But if you keep trying, eventually, there will be one that is just right for your palate — just like there are many different types of friends for each person. Your friends can be like this too. Maybe you’re spending too much time with someone who doesn’t work out well. Perhaps it’s time to find someone else who does. Ensure your friends add value to your life rather than draining it dry.

Photo by Jana Kowalewicz on Unsplash

You know how it is with relationships. Sometimes you have to try a few before you find the one that’s just right for you. And even then, there will be times when things go wrong, fights ensue, and people get hurt. But if it’s true love or authentic wine, those bad days won’t last forever; eventually, everything will work itself out again.

The same thing goes for wine. Sometimes, a bottle tastes excellent right away. Other times, it takes some time before that deliciousness hits home with full force. But wait to find your perfect match. Keep trying new bottles until one finally clicks with your palate, making everything better.

It’s okay to cut people out of your life. Spending time with people who add value to your life is also okay.

If you’re not sure whether or not someone is worth spending time with, ask yourself these questions:

Is this person making me happy?

Do I feel good after talking with them or being around them?

If the answer is no, then it’s time for a change.

Here are some signs that a friend may be more of a burden than a blessing:

  1. Consistently negative or toxic behavior: If your friend consistently brings negative energy into your life, complains excessively, or constantly focuses on the negative aspects of situations, this may be a sign that they are more of a burden than a blessing.
  2. Emotional manipulation: A friend who constantly tries to manipulate your emotions, guilt-trips you, or makes you feel bad about yourself is not a healthy influence in your life.
  3. One-sided relationship: If the friendship revolves solely around the needs, interests, and desires of your friend, with little to no consideration for your own, this indicates an imbalance in the relationship.
  4. Constant need for support: If your friend is always in crisis or requires constant emotional support without offering any in return, this can be emotionally draining and may not be a sustainable friendship.
  5. Lack of trust or honesty: A true friendship is built on trust and honesty. If your friend consistently lies, keeps secrets, or betrays your faith, this can signify an unhealthy friendship.
  6. Frequent conflict: While occasional disagreements are normal in any relationship, constant arguments, fights, or drama may indicate that the friendship is more of a burden than a blessing.
  7. Financial strain: If your friend consistently borrows money, expects you to cover their expenses, or takes advantage of your generosity, this can lead to financial stress and strain the friendship.
  8. Disrespect or disregard for boundaries: A good friend respects your boundaries and values your personal space. This may be a red flag if your friend constantly oversteps boundaries, disregards your feelings, or makes you uncomfortable.
  9. Enabling unhealthy habits: If your friend encourages or supports unhealthy behaviors, such as substance abuse or other destructive habits, this can negatively influence your life.
  10. Jealousy or possessiveness: A healthy friendship allows for individual growth and development. If your friend becomes overly jealous or possessive when you spend time with others or pursue your interests, this may indicate an unhealthy dynamic.

If you recognize any of these signs in a friendship, evaluating the relationship and considering whether it’s worth maintaining is essential.

If you need a new friend, don’t be afraid to reach out and make one. The world is full of exciting people who can add value to your life. It might take some time, but eventually, you’ll find someone who clicks with you perfectly, and who knows? Maybe they’ll end up being your wine bestie!

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Charlene Ann Mildred
The Masterpiece

I'm a writer and content creator who loves to share tips on how to maximize your productivity. Email: charleneannmildredfbarroga@gmail.com