Why We Need To Redefine Success For The 21st Century
Gary Vaynerchuk’s condensed wisdom about the concept of success.
“It’s not about stuff, but waking up and not having anxiety” — Gary Vaynerchuk
With so much exposure to content, at least once a day, we get to see those advertisements where they tell you how to be successful by owning a ten-bedroom penthouse or a Ferrari. In reality, they are not selling you all those things, they are telling you that you will be happy if you own that stuff.
You get so consumed by what you see, and then you get all charged up, motivated for a couple of days, till it dies down. The idea of material success (which I absolutely do not detest) will only make you more insecure and lead to increased anxiety.
The false idea of revenge by being successful
We all have seen those toxic videos that get circulated on social media, where a man gets rejected by a woman. Dejected, he goes home and reflects upon himself, and works hard. Somehow, magically he goes from rags to riches in six months, and the girl who rejected him instantly regrets it.
There is nothing more toxic than the idea of taking revenge by being rich.
Imagine you get dumped, be it a boy or a girl, and your only motto in life remains to become rich to avenge. You try hard, but you don’t succeed in your goal. Would you shoot yourself in the head as a punishment for not being able to fulfill your revenge? That would be utter misery.
If you think monetary success is the solution to all the things then you will end up at the same place from where you started.
The cause of unhappiness
Well, happiness is a tricky term. The constant state of happiness is a myth as there is no one-stop solution to that. All we could strive for at the least, not being discontent or unhappy most times.
When you are working in a job you hate, ask yourself a question. What makes the anticipation of the weekend so luring that you go through a dopamine rush on Friday evening? Partying? Getting to spend time with your family? A short getaway?
All of those, but there is one thing that is common — being in control, i.e; to be able to dictate the way you want to spend your time. The idea of being in control during the weekend is exhilarating. The exact opposite happens on Monday morning, being under the control of an external force.
That external force could be anything, your parents, because they won’t let you pursue the course in which you wish to build your career. It could be your boss because you are not being able to do things your way. Worst scenario, a fascist government comes to power that tries to control every aspect of your life. We hate being controlled by outside forces.
Aligning success with happiness
We desperately need to open this conversation of redefining success as doing something that makes you feel happy. Imagine having a dopamine rush on Monday mornings, like Friday evenings. The idea of being in control of your life will make you feel content. You don’t have to wait for the weekend and then another, and the next one, so that you could be the driver of your destiny.
We fall into the trap of accumulating accolades from our family, friends, and society by the idea of materialistic success. You shouldn’t be living life for that one family gathering where you get appreciated in terms of your monetary value, although you hate every day at work. This false notion of success is nothing but a facade created in society that makes us continue to do things we thoroughly detest.
Earning $85,000 by doing something you love will be much more satisfying than $150,000 by doing what you hate.
Do I quit my job immediately?
The answer to that would be yes and no, depending on your situation. If you have a family to feed or student debt to repay, then quitting your job could be a risky proposition. But, if you have the liberty to fall back on someone to be able to pursue what you like, then why not!
It is your decision, you can continue to build your side hustle alongside a stable job and then one fine day, who knows! Your side hustle could become your primary job.
If you are really happy with your work because it gives you the liberty to work for a limited number of hours, so be it. There is nothing wrong with that too. The goal is to align your success with happiness. Someone who loves being surrounded by books the whole day and loves being a librarian even though it provides only a modest income. That’s a success.
Limiting the idea of success in terms of material value is detrimental. Because it keeps you in a constant state of comparison with someone else. And that someone else will always be one step ahead of you. So no matter how much are successful in terms of material value. The grass will always be greener on the other side.
Does it mean that I have to live my life in abject poverty? No, that’s not the idea. There are some things, that are necessary in this modern world to improve our quality of life. But taking up a job that pays you $150,000 to buy things to impress people who don’t care about you. That’s pitiful. You need to understand the difference between comfort and luxury.
You are not missing out on anything because you will miss out on many things in life. Social media is an enormous factor that creates an emotional gap that is called FOMO (Fear of missing out). Getting a loan to visit an exotic location only because your rich friend Jane went, that’s ridiculous. It will not make you happy but only push you into extra debt.
Living modestly with a decent income will only open the gates of happiness and being in charge of your life. The more you are in charge of your life, it will only increase your odds of earning more money.
Final thoughts
The long conceived notion of equating success with money needs to be dismantled. It needs to be realigned with happiness. The illusion of material success will only make you insecure and stressed. The purpose is to wake up without having anxiety.
Here’s an article I wrote that you might find interesting,
Thank you for reading.
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