We Place Too Much Importance On Work
I am more than what I do for a living.
This is the second iteration of this article, and it’s nothing like the one that preceded it. Initially, I was trying to write a broader topic about how cultural emphasis on the work-life scale is tilted towards the former.
I kept writing, struggling to put together my argument in a cohesive structure. I wasn’t sure what the roadblock was until I read back what I’d worked on to that point.
It ended up being that I was generalizing the idea of working too much. The argument I wanted to make was that I believe the work-life scale should tilt towards life. That at the end of my life, I want to look back at and hope that my work did not define me, that it elaborated upon the grand canvas of my life.
This is my hope, my dream, and the desire of my life. It may not be yours, and I am in no position to tell you what your life should be.
How I Got Here
In 2019, I was a few years into a job that I thought would be the story of my professional life for years to come, possibly forever. But, life has a way of forcing you to think bigger. For me, that meant leaving that job, moving back to the Midwest — all in the name of ensuring our family was closer to our extended family.
My wife and I chose life over work.
If the pandemic has taught us anything, it’s that the career dynamics of work-life balance are shifting — dramatically.
Since March 2020, when the world shifted to a significant amount of work online, many white-collar jobs and workers have adjusted their approach to their desired work lifestyle. And after vaccinations have rolled out, workers are returning to their offices more, but not everyone.
Stories are populating newsfeeds discussing the future of work, some focusing on a hybrid approach. But, these articles and the narrative are exclusively on jobs that can be done from home. Trade and skill-based jobs, service industry jobs, and civic service jobs require someone in person.
So one question becomes — how does the future shape the discussion of how and where work takes place? I’d made a counter-argument, one that I think the pandemic has shined a light on, are we placing too much emphasis on work entirely?
Are We Our Work?
Work and our chosen careers are as equally professional as they are personal. So many conversations with people we meet inevitably lead to the question, “what do you do for work?” After all, a job can tell us a lot about a person, and we certainly make assumptions and judgments in our heads about that person based upon their career choice and job title.
Is that fair? I’m in no authority to answer that, but I believe it’s essential to consider. We are more than our job, more than our title, and more than our career.
So much emphasis on our careers means that for some, our lives are put on hold to accomplish the professional goals, aspirations, and accomplishments that culturally symbolize success.
This statement is not to diminish work, nor the time and efforts that go into attaining the skills required to do our jobs. Instead, it is a comment on the cultural significance placed upon work and not life.
My Balance — My Family
I want my time distributed more in my life and less in work, and as a father, my time with my wife and kids is critical to me. I hope that when my kids are older, they remember that I was available to them. That I was home to read to them, play games, goof around, and be their climbing and wrestling gym.
They also understand why they have gone to preschool and camps on weekdays — because their mom and I still have to work. Despite my desire for a better balance in life, I still have to work. We still have to pay for the essentials and the comforts they’ve been lucky enough to become accustomed to.
So, while we focus on the work we have to do, I hope they also learn that we strive to inject our passions and interests in life into our work. For example, they know that I love to write and create. I write poetry and stories with them. Together we draw and create tales about the pictures we made. I desire to share the love of creativity with them and hope that the sense of fun translates to a passion for them, too, no matter how they choose to express it.
The pandemic is partially responsible for this mentality shift. It made me more zen.
Through necessity, I had to adapt to new realities and new responsibilities (like assisting with homeschool) while trying to maintain my previous professional commitments. I couldn’t do it.
And so, I shifted my mentality to what I could control, and that was how I viewed my priorities. So, for me, it was my family.
Work is essential to who we are. It is vital to our society. It can define us. At the end of the day, that balance is personal to each of us. I will enjoy this balance for the short time that my kids are young, want to be with us, and play with us.
When my kids are out of the house in 15 years, perhaps my mentality will have changed. But for now, I am going to relish what I have.
I am here, and I am present when I need to be. I worked hard to get here, and I am happy.
Thank you for reading.
