Become Unshakeable: How to Stop Taking Things Personally
My strength is how I feel about myself
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“You look so fat”
It cuts like a knife. Someone says something, and we interpret it as a personal attack.
Perhaps someone calls attention to a flaw or weakness within us. Maybe we are unjustly accused or blamed. There could be a misunderstanding, or it was precisely what it appeared to be.
Either way, we are offended and take it personally. The words cut and tear at our psyche. Our blood boils.
We can save ourselves from much suffering when we stop taking everything personally.
My strength is how I feel about myself
I’ve learned the world is not out to get me; there’s no need to be so defensive.
I don’t get offended easily when I’m feeling good about myself. When I take that chip off my shoulder, social interactions become smoother. People enjoy my company when they see my self-esteem is unshakeable.
I know who I am. I understand my self-worth as a person. For that reason, what others say does not carry much weight. Especially if the remark is casual or was said with apparent malice.
We only hurt ourselves and restrict our social influence when we allow these insults to bother us. What we focus on grows. When we hang on to every slight, we give it power. There is no upside.
Yet, not taking things personally is difficult because we all have insecurities.
It‘s not about you
People have their own reasons for what they do and say. Everyone has personal demons they wrestle with.
What other people do reflects their inner state and has little, if anything, to do with you.
We assume it’s about us when it’s not.
People walk around with accumulated trauma and pain from the past. Anyone nearby can become a convenient target for them to release their built-up frustration and anger.
You see this when someone overreacts and blows an event out of proportion. It makes no sense on the surface.
Inside, these people wrestle with other issues. Their inner turmoil lies fermenting below the surface. We witness the explosion and are shocked.
When an electrical circuit is overloaded, it trips the breaker and closes the entire circuit. When the human mind becomes overloaded with frustration, self-control and good manners may shut down.
Knowing that people are walking around with a lot of trauma, we can begin to understand them better. We can be more tolerant and never hurt by what they say or do.
Seeing people this way makes you realize there is little point in taking anything someone says personally.
Nothing bothers me when I’m in a good mood
Your reaction to any event springs from your level of consciousness and your mental and emotional state.
Operating at a low frequency will close you off from others. You will be judgmental and not give anyone the benefit of the doubt.
In a low vibration, we often react with fear. In such a state, we have low self-esteem, and our insecurities run wild. We can’t help but take any perceived attack as personal.
In a high-frequency state, we operate from acceptance, a willingness to get along, forgiveness, and love. Our self-esteem and self-respect are high.
We feel so good about ourselves that others can’t hurt us.
Lack of friction makes us soft
We need a certain amount of conflict if we are to grow.
A hermit living alone in solitude can mediate and find peace of mind. Put him back in the daily grind of society, and he will suffer. You need resistance to become stronger.
When someone takes a poke at you, see it as a challenge. See it as practice. You are training yourself not to take things personally.
When two boxers fight in the ring, one doesn’t say to the other, “You're a terrible person.” They don’t take the opponent’s blows personally.
In the game of life, people will jab at you. Instead of taking it personally, see it as a test. It’s the perfect opportunity to develop thicker skin.
Human nature: it is what it is
There are many types of people in the world. There are the docile and the rebellious, the polite and rude, the caring, the cruel, and everything in between.
This variety among the human species is normal. You can be sure people will behave in ways that bother you. It’s going to happen; you can bet on it.
There are those who walk through life with rough shoes, insensitive and rude. Others let their mouth run without thinking.
Don’t be surprised. Don’t take it personally. These encounters happen to everyone.
It’s vital to be more open-minded and less fearful toward others. Most people mean well but make mistakes. A benevolent spirit toward others and ourselves can make life a lot smoother.
We can avoid petty conflict by accepting human nature as it is.
We can stop reacting with hostility to everything people say and do that offends us. We can step back and live healthier lives.
