How to train your Ego.
Ego as defined by the dictionary; a person’s self-esteem or self-importance. Many articles have been written; many things have been discussed and advised focusing upon the term ego. On the whole the attempt has been always on negativity around the term and the need to attain the balance in terms of figure and ground while putting forward.
Ego formally and mostly has been represented as a behavioural trait with magnitude. Of which, value of the magnitude is very critical and variable, always been judged relative to the social norms.
In my attempt to explain and reeling over the title, the explanation of how is answered from a different perspective, which is psychoanalytic-model of the mind and eventually justifying it with what has been suggested in holy Hindu scripture- Bhagavad Gita.
Ego is more than the level of self-centeredness, it holds a fundamental meaning in psychoanalysis; the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity. So if it is the mediator and holds the connection to the unconscious mind, it certainly holds more importance than to be taken in a negative and prescriptions like not to take yourself seriously then easier the task will become when it comes to fixing ego, is just an imbecile attempt. Significance is it provides a sense of personal identity and ego is what keeps you locked away in your little word. Provided that it needs to be explored as well as it needs to be trained for conscious functioning of mind.
Ego is defined as a conscious thinking subject in terms of metaphysics. So in common use when someone is being pointed out for showing very high ego that is to say someone is functioning upon very low conscious thinking. On the other hand, Disclosure singing, “help me lose my mind”, does that means song is about seeking to put up in high ego. Certainly it is not. Considering all it becomes confusing, it is required to get clear with the fundamentals of the ego.
Ego psychology is a body of psychoanalysis established in Sigmund Freud’s structural model of the mind. Theoretical construct of various ego functions is represented as Ego. Psychic apparatus; Id, Ego and Super-Ego are the three theoretical constructs in terms of whose activity and interaction affects our mental life. Not to mention an individual interacts with outer world and responds to the internal forces. According to this model of the psyche, the id is the set of uncoordinated instinctual trends; the super-ego plays the critical and moralising role; and the ego is the organised, realistic part that mediates between the desires of the id and the super-ego. The super-ego can stop one from doing certain things that one’s id may want to do.
The iceberg metaphor is a commonly used visual metaphor when attempting to relate the ego, id and superego with the conscious and unconscious mind. In the iceberg metaphor the entire id and part of both the superego and the ego would be submerged in the underwater portion representing the unconscious mind. The remaining portions of the ego and superego would be displayed above water in the conscious mind area. It is evident that we are only aware of only one third of our mind considering the overall impact on mental process. Most of the unconscious remains unexplored. Id commits on pleasure principles, instant gratification. Imbalance occurs when the psychic apparatus fights within each other and eventually defence mechanism is carried out. Due to the interaction mind dwells into many reaction formations like suppression, denial, displacement, rationalisation, intellectualisation, isolation of effect, regression, sublimation, projection regarding the possibilities for the same situation. For the healthy functioning and decision making Ego has to be stronger and capable. Refer to the film Harry Potter and recall the group dynamics of the main characters as every represented the respective function of the apparatus i.e, Hermione Granger: Super Ego, Ron Weasley: Id, and Harry Potter: Ego.
Awareness is necessary, but behaviour also holds grave importance. Another school of psychoanalytic is Transactional Analysis, a basis of understanding the behaviour, which is by the theory of transactional analysis is said to be influence by social transactions. It tells that ego has different states (Parent, Adult, and child), which eventually influence our personality. Transactional analysis doesn’t just focuses on increasing awareness of the contents of unconsciously held ideas rather it explores what is affecting the ego state and how the transactions are happening amongst the different types. Though it also measures in, the effect of the unconsciously held ideas, shifting the ego states in the form injunctions.
Transactional analysis has its roots in psychoanalysis and says that personality is affected by thoughts feelings and memories. Typically the Ego states are explained as 1. Parent ego state: this the state in which you think feel and behave based on how your parents and other authority figures acted, 2. Adult ego state: here you think, feel and behave in response to what you are now and you are you are able to make decision based on your full life experience. You look from a realistic and objective approach, and 3. Child ego state: in this state you think, feel and behave based just like you did in your childhood. Parent ego state has further two types, one is Controlling parent state and the other one is Nurturing parent state and then child ego state is also having types as Adaptive state and Free state. Overwriting factors in perpetuating of the similar situations while interacting with the similar person is not due to the other person’s behaviour, but our own state of mind. We move between the ego states all the time, but not in the random way, we change states in response to thoughts and events we experience. Crossed transactions happening between two similar ego states are highly unstable, unlike wise complementary transactions, which can go on indefinitely. Varied feelings like inferior, entitled to less, fear, guilt, aversion, intrinsically more capable, superior, cruel, mean can become part of personality due to being in unhealthy ego state or imbalanced transactions. Unhealthy ego state projects that mind get triggered in between transactions on to wrong state caused by injunctions and results into hidden (ulterior) transactions. Every ego state has its own positives and negatives; therefore healthy ulterior transactions are needed.
Transactions are the surfboards and can leverage games, games people play. Games are played in the manner: Switch, Cross up, and then Lay off. Also classified into degrees, which are first-degree games: mild and acceptable, second-degree games: socially unacceptable, third-degree games: real harm caused, and fourth-degree games: played at world stage mostly by political parties. Basically minimum two players are required, a con and a gimmick, in a game transaction. Gimmick player need to reveal something that con player can exploit and game gets initiated. The underlining formula is Con + Gimmick = Response> Switch> Cross-up> Pay off. Reasons for playing games are to have the prospect of meeting mutual needs, attention, and affirming our life positions such as equality, depressive, arrogant and futile. Tenacity is very important and governing factor in games and varies highly amongst players. Game often seems to be over before you even aware you played one, because we can get lost in the moment. We spend too much time trying to figuring out people but a much more productive strategy is to trying figure ourselves out. If we can identify what is within ourselves that draws us into game, we don’t need to know the underline motives of other person at all. Target for the game is referred as gimmick. Gimmick can be based on revenge and personal illusions we have not quit got grips or having lesser tenacity over yet. Reasonable healthy adult ego state can block out games. Identify and diffuse your gimmicks and respond from adult ego state.
Well by far I have explained the complex and the sophisticate nature of the ego, attempting not to get drifted, and enlightening the function. I have just rendered the epitome by not going into deep mechanism and derivatives, only highlighting the importance of the title. That is to say, it is clear that ego demands to have awareness over unconscious mind and need to strengthen the adult ego state. There are suggestions, directions, etc. but no clear reference on how to attain and what really is a perfect healthy ego state and many times, as obvious even the meaning of rationality can be perceived and understood as skewed relative to the ones capability. When it comes to usual but grave matter of mind one can not advise to be just like James Bond, however, James Bond is one of the rarest of rare characters written which, remains same and unaffected throughout the story timeline. Impressive! May be MI6 also trains the egos of its agents or is it just he.
On my part I am answering HOW referring to the concept of Stithaprajna from Bhagavad Gita that, I have found justifiable and significant to put up here. The concept actually circumferences the solution to the uncertainty of the mind and to attain the perfect ego state. Lord Krishna blessed this wisdom to the great warrior Arjuna during the holy battle of Mahabharata.
The Bhagavad Gita emphasises the importance of serenity even in the thick of action. Krishna enlightens with the characteristics of the stithaprajna (steady wisdom), the person of stable temper, the epitome of human virtue. Further explained, as strong man does not lose himself in dejection. Recognise your duty and take decision. Those who are unmoved by happiness and sorrows, those who remain uninfluenced by them, are worthy of salvation and is the only to be known as Stithapragya. Happiness, sorrow, profit, loss, victory, defeat are all the same, it is the code, go beyond them appealing to conscious mind. Conscious mind, which can look into depths of truth and recognise the voice of the soul. Decision making power lacks when looking at it from personal view point. That is the problem, the bond of attachment. From there in arises sorrow, neither good for you nor for society. Don’t think of profit and loss, do your duty. Action is its own reward. Act but do not expect any reward, result is not in your control. Due to desires and expectations gimmicks inculcate. Desire less person is imperturbable. Hence shed any desire for reward, do what is in your control, which means do your duty. This is karma yoga. Efficient fulfilment of karma is yoga. Yoga is fulfilment of duty, giving up temptation to do one’s duty and the ability to be imperturbable. The imperturbable man always remains calm and balanced. None can make him lose his balance. When he speaks, it is not with sorrows or happiness but from depths of his soul. He speaks not of attachment but desire less action. His senses are in his control. Only he can control his senses, who can control his mind. The ordinary mortal thinks of objects. This in turn leads to attachment, which further leads to birth of desire, when desire is unfulfilled it leads to anger, from anger is born greater attachment to the object. With this, the ability to think begins to stray, when this happens, intelligence is destroyed. This, in turn, leads to the downfall of man. Peace without intelligence is not attainable. The ordinary man is prey to the temptation that is the aim of his awakening. His thoughts are selfish, unlike wise, the perfect man’s selfless thoughts. Perfect man is beyond selfish hunger and thirst. He does not think of the fallen fruit from the tree but the tree. The sensual man is like the river, which flows on eagerly without without realising where it is going, only to squander its water into sea. Here we can infer that flowing like river is what psychoanalytic stands against for and this happens due to unhealthy conscious mind and falling into the games due to incapability of the ego state. The river of desire overwhelms the sensual man. The perfect man, however, can absorb it and still not cross his limits just like sea. To him, victory and defeat, pleasure and pain, honour and dishonour, friend and enemy are all alike- he judges himself, not by the fickle opinions of others, but by wether or not he has fulfilled his dharma, the ethical path that he has laid down for himself. He is nishkama.
The man who forcibly suppresses his senses and tries to meditate is not a yogi but a liar. The yogi does not suppress the senses but controls them. He does not live with eyes closed. The perfect man controls the senses and gives them a direction with his awakened mind and only to be known as Stithapragya. He realises his options and know how to organise them. The one who thinks of only him is a sinner, so, recognise your duty and do it. Desire for the reward is the real obstacle, it is the real milestone around the neck, it does not allow him to rise above himself. This isolates the person form his society, pushing him into the mire of profit and loss. Society is not part of you; you are a part of it. So your prime duty is people’s welfare. Like the smoke cloaks fire, dust cloaks the mirror, like wise, desire, anger, lust cloak knowledge. The fire of temptation and desire destroys knowledge and is its enemy. So it is to cleanse the mirror and purify the fire, modify the senses and kill the enemy of knowledge that is to make unconscious the conscious. Those who are balanced will find peace and oneness. Steady the restless mind with your soul. The Stithaprajna, having rid his mind of blind craving, is no slave of passion. The Gita says that happiness runs away from one who desires it; happiness runs after him who wants nothing.
In conclusion, living in this era of consumerism and fourth degree subliminal seduction, where consciousness is continuously being manipulated. It is important to investigate your consciousness, your thinking and change in psychological attitude is a must. Make yourself aware of the anatomy of consciousness, something that you can’t see. Reference of Bhagavad Gita being discussed here, will bring light to what is to achieve.
