The Blank Canvas
Blank canvases are infamous for rendering even the most gifted, talented hands ice cold, afraid to touch pen to paper and paint to brush. Everyone that has ever burdened themselves with the expectation of creating something spectacular has come face to face with this fear at least once. If the creative journey is one they choose to embark on often, the fear is a companion they’ve come to know by its name.
There is an unnerving coldness to the white surface of a perfectly untouched page that seizes me up and stares down at me, almost challenging me to raise a hand to it.
At the age of 21, I find myself faced with another new beginning. Yet another blank canvas waiting to be explored, which has summoned the familiar, ghoulish anxieties that make sure to materialize when something important is going on. The unmarked trail of what I hope will be a promising career lies ahead of me, and my first venture into what they’ve been referring to as “the real world” seems as alien as walking on the moon; surreal, thrilling and entirely uncertain.
Spending the past few years of my life honing my skills as an artist and designer has got me well acquainted with the frightening stare of canvases; every project is a fresh start and a sizeable portion of self-doubt (from what I can gauge from my brief musings on the practice of making anything) seems to be a staple food on every creator’s plate.
If anything, I’ve grown to recognize my anxiety as a necessarily required, ceremoniously punctual friend, who is absolutely essential at the starting line because they’ve always been there for you and despite all their warnings that things are going to take an ugly turn for the irredeemable worst, nothing has gone too wrong yet and they might just be a good luck charm. Overcoming this internal resistance and creating something beautiful has always made the creative process seem triumphant, liberating and even addictive.
Even though the first few steps of a journey can be immensely intimidating, they give way to a process that seems transcendental, brings me in rhythm with myself and allows me to explore the vast, joyful expanse of creativity. It is a process that has nurtured me, supported me and allowed me to unfold into the person I am today.
As I begin my journey here at The Mavericks, I feel comforted as I feel the familiar self doubt creep in. I recognize that the nervousness of these first steps is nothing but the anticipation of creative impulse finding its footing. I feel excited and curious as I prepare myself for the growth this journey will bring and everything I will have the pleasure of learning along the way.
And now, all that there is left to do, is jump right in and enjoy the process.
