Why accept the gender gap with household work?
Why would anyone want to do the dishes every night? Or keep the kitchen counters clean with soap till they shine bright, or even keep a tab of the list of items that are going out of stock, put clothes in, take them out, plan the menu and watch the children. Why is it that tasks that no one would opt for are thrust on one section of the population who are fibbed into believing that this is their ‘DUTY’.
I would rather spend my time teaching my five-year-old son some valuable lessons and spend some quality time talking to my husband, or just simply watch a web series, surf comedy shows, etc. Why am I forced to opt for doing such things and then get judged for the ones not done for a day? How do such things automatically fall under my umbrella? Why are all these duties left to the woman of the house? And why is it that if only “2–3”% (this might be more) of the male population does any of these chores, he is considered to be a noble soul, a selfless monk? As if he has never had any need for laundered clothes, cooked meals and clean home. How come he is the “bechara” and not me?
No matter what my choice is, how much I love working and keeping myself busy “not doing house chores”, be it anything — maybe find my lockdown passion of bottle painting again, or rather actually look at making a business out of it. Why not? Why does tending to the house and family almost always fall in my kitty? I really feel that the only reason one would ‘choose’ to do these chores is if it was a job that came with payment or perks. We do have house helps who are a blessing for most of the women I know, including myself. Thanks to the lockdown, we realize the value of having them. But what about the other tasks, why are they ultimately left to the women of the houses? Each day, hours and hours go into these maintenance tasks, tasks without which a household cannot function.
When my husband and I became parents 5 years ago, it was with a vague understanding that the workload thereafter would be shared between us. I chose to leave my job and give undivided attention to my son, and also enjoy my ‘motherhood unplugged’ life to the fullest. I did that dedicatedly until my son turned 4, and I started feeling the void inside me. When I got introduced to The Mavericks, I saw the opportunity to enjoy the best of both worlds — of utilizing my qualified ability to maintain an effective career and be financially independent while managing to fulfil my mommy duties with loads of warm hugs and kisses. Until the time came when I realized that this was just an added burden to my already listed chores and duties, it was important for me to have the ability to raise my child and at the same time gain financial independence. Gradually, it got overwhelming for me. However, the support and trust I got from my team at the Mavericks gave me the strength to keep moving and chasing my passion for working.
This was when my husband and I realized that many things needed to be changed to strike a balanced work-life ratio for us. It was important for him to share the workload, making it easier for me to have a life that co-exists professionally and personally. Let’s just stop saying that women are good at multitasking and believe that by virtue of being biologically equipped to give birth, women are untiring and self-sacrificing by nature. There is absolutely no scientific logic to link the two phenomena. I don’t want to be called a superwoman or an “everyday hero”. Neither do I want to choose between my work and family. I don’t want to feel the guilt of leaving my son or not giving him my complete attention for a while. I don’t, and IT’S OKAY!
Let’s get this straight. Housework is not a woman’s job. It’s not her choice, her calling, or her dharma. She did not opt for it. She was not born to do it. She does not want to spend decades of her life doing it. It’s not her burden alone or her cross to bear. It’s everyone’s work, so just SHARE IT!
***
