How to hit your head against the wall: Advice for freelancers on responding to rejection

Let’s do a quick exercise before diving into this. Think of every person you know. Think of your next door neighbor with the terrible music taste, your childhood best friend, every member of your family, your high school nemesis, your close circle of friends now, your significant other, that person who always posts conspiracy theories on Facebook — you name it. It might also be helpful to think of all the people whose career you admire, and no, we won’t judge who makes that list. I’ll give you some time.

Got a long list in your head now? Great. They all have something in common.

They’ve all experienced rejection at some point in their lives.

Beyoncé lost on “Star Search.” Anna Wintour was fired from one of her first jobs in fashion. Steve Jobs was booted out of the company he started. The list of rejection sob stories goes on and on.

Still, getting told ‘no’ is likely going to sting a bit. Hearing ‘thanks, but no thanks’ just as you’re getting your career off the ground? Of course that’ll feel like a punch to the gut! So how do you deal with these inevitable hiccups in your new career? Here are a few things to keep in mind:

• Realize that a rejection is (rarely) personal. More often than not, it’s just a business decision. This potential client could be out of funds for freelance work, or they’ve decided to keep work in-house. It can be something totally arbitrary too, maybe your style doesn’t “fit” their brand, or perhaps now isn’t the right time. It could even be because there’s a lunar eclipse and the Devil is nigh. It’s not because they thought that you suck and your work sucks.
• Start thinking about it as a numbers game. Look: You’re never going to get every single client you reach out to, right? In fact, your success rate will probably start off really low — What’s it going to take to get your first 10 clients? If you get rejected 90% of the time, you’d need to contact at least 100 potential clients to land them. Sure, that’s not an ideal number, but we all have to start somewhere. And that brings us to the next point…
• The only remedy is getting back out there. Regardless of the reasons why you might have been rejected, focus instead on how it can make you better at what you do. From helping you develop a thicker skin, to improving the way you sell your services, to reaching out to more people, rejection is an excellent teacher for a new freelancer.

Now you’re convinced that everyone has to deal with disappointment, what now? Ultimately what makes people successful is how they respond to rejection — and that’s by getting back out there, and often. Entrepreneurs get told no by venture capitalists all the time, but they still have to keep knocking on doors if they want their projects funded. You want your life and career goals funded? Keep knocking on doors — and by that I mean sending more emails, setting up more coffee meetings, making more phone calls, following up with previous or potential clients and maintaining forward momentum. Remember when you were a child and how persistent you were about getting a cookie/a trip to the park/going over to a friend’s house? You never let ‘I don’t know’ or ‘maybe later’ discourage you, so don’t let it discourage you now. Tap into that persistent inner child.

While a certain amount of rejection is expected and necessary, if you find yourself hitting brick walls over and over, it might be worthwhile to take a step back and reevaluate. Right now it probably feels like you’re walking through a fog trying to build your career. Think of each rejection as a light post illuminating your path as you move forward. Each one can educate you, provide clarity, and offer alternatives.

“If you’re getting rejected a lot, then you should focus in on a particular area of work that you’re great at. Having a very focused portfolio and targeting those jobs will increase your success rate dramatically, and your expertise in that area will be valued highly by the client. A client is then far less likely to question your work,” suggests Carl Fairclough, a freelance designer based in Manchester, UK.

So if things aren’t going your way, like really really not going your way, answer the question “Where am I going wrong?” Now grab a pen, or open your Notes app and answer the following:

• What services are you selling? Can you sum it up in a single short sentence? If not, focus!
• How many potential clients did you contact this week? Probably not enough. Get typing.
• Where are you finding them? Generally, you’ll find better clients, faster, through referrals from your friends, family and old coworkers.
• How did you communicate your value to them? Sell your services from their perspective, not yours.

Back to Anna Wintour for a moment. In case you aren’t familiar, she runs the American edition of a pretty well-known magazine you might have heard of called Vogue. When asked for advice on how to be successful, her response was:

“Everyone should get sacked at least once. It forces you to look at yourself . . . It is important to have setbacks, because that is the reality of life. Perfection doesn’t exist.”

So what are you waiting for? Get back out there!

Written by Mattie Quinn

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Dominotes are a collection of articles and advice for freelancers from the shared, practical experiences of our members. We view them as “perpetual drafts” and will happily accept suggestions, criticisms, and contributions.