The Meatcast: Offseason
Part 2: The League
The heat of August is relentless and unforgiving. I grabbed coffee from the cafe a couple blocks away and I’m exhausted and sweaty and it’s just really fucking hot. Confined to the air-conditioned couch, streaming mediocre Netflix movies and watching absurdly long Snapchat Stories make up my Sunday afternoons.
But not for long. Two weekends from now, Give ‘Em The Meat: Season 5 will begin and everything will be okay.
Back in March, I started the four-part Offseason Meatcast. We took a look at the owners that make up this league: Part 1: The Owners. Now, as we approach Season 5, the next installment will take a look at the league itself. The league that has endured through four years of trash talk, rules arguments, roster neglect (C’MON GUYS), and good old fashioned football.
“Cappy”, wrote Nick Cook. The year was 1970 and the boys we’re getting ready to start Season 2 of their Fantasy Football league.
Honestly, I have no idea why the beginning of our thread has Nick Cook’s “Cappy” message from 1970 included. Facebook is playing games with us, apparently. The true beginning of the “Fuck Fest” was the commissioner’s famous message:
Alright guys, it’s time for fantasy football!
Once JCal was in… we were all in. And the legacy of the league would prevail. This league that brings us together every year. This league that causes arguments, chaos, desperation, hate, love and disappointment. Years from now, we’ll tell our grandchildren about this league.
“Son, I remember when I was your age. Sobes had just finished a rant equating the waiver wire to Soviet Russia and at that moment, we all realized how goddamn crazy each of us were… Now c’mon it’s time to get you back to Moon College.”
Once the chat was established and season 2 renewed, the league reunited under the premise: Fuck Fest, and we knew that going forward, this league would be about festivals of fuck.
And haven’t they? Year after year, MCL sprains, concussions, off-the-field problems have thrown fucking wrenches (or sticks- looking at you, AP) into our beautiful rosters. The NFL is a cluster-fuck of variability and consistency in fantasy football, in my opinion, relies completely on luck and the biases of your opponents. What a fuck fest.