Writing | Psychology | Divorce | Essay

Writing Again After a Year

Writing again after a year, maybe two years. It is difficult for me to pick it up, but I am willing to come back when my time is right.

Photo by Tom Rogerson on Unsplash

I sit in the living room, which is also my dining room, behind my laptop. It is in the middle of the night, half past one. I am heading to bed now after watching my movie, but suddenly some ideas for writing came across my mind again. For a long time, I have wanted to write again since moving to another home after my divorce. I miss writing a lot. I can be myself around here as well as things get off my chest. I held up my emotions last year. I wasn’t myself anymore. I told myself I failed in any way my life turned around since moving homes.

I open my Word application on the desktop. It is blank. I don’t know what to write. I then realized I still had drafts in my computer folders. Let’s see what I have there for ideas. I know a lot of stuff ready for me to pen. But those articles and stories aren’t ready for me to tell, or at least, I know I can hurt those people. I don’t want that either. There was this empty draft: Writing Again After a Year. It is two years now.

Scrolling down, I realized I needed to write again now. I don’t need to wait until 2025 turns around. So, I decided to start writing again now. And to be honest, I still love it. I thought I lost the joy of writing stories. I feel incredibly joyful.

I know I also have a lot of notebooks with lots of ideas for writing stories, articles, memoirs, and many more, but those notebooks are still in moving boxes in my bedroom. I have a place, yet, to store them. I have some mental health issues to face before I actually can write full-time again. This is just a startover? Or is this a start again? I am not sure, but this is another start. A start with more energy than I ever had. At the same time, I felt drawn away from everything I love to do.

Was it a depression? I felt down for a very long time. A few weeks ago, I talked about it with my coach, and she assured me that this isn’t a depression. Talking about my feelings with her for an hour, I realized that I hid my emotions and fears to be in survivor mode all…