Close, Far and Close Again
My sister is nearly eight years younger than me. When she was young, she was practically glued to my side. She also firmly believed she should accompany me on my dates.
She was just a teen when I left home and married. She would occasionally help me with caring for my four children. And I was her matron of honor when she married at twenty-one.
Gradually our relationship changed. We rarely talked on the phone and only saw each other at the holidays. Tension grew between us. This was caused by Mom pitting us against each other. Mom’s psychological difficulties explained her need to have us both close to her, but not to each other. There were some nasty scenes between my sister and me.
Things came to a head when my mom was hospitalized for a month before passing away. I was criticized for decisions I made as her legal and medical power of attorney. There was no comforting between us, just more tension and nastiness.
About a year after Mom died, I took a long look at our relationship. She was my only sister and I wanted to know the woman she had become. There was finally an opportunity to have contact with her. We wanted to buy a condo in Wisconsin. My sister was a realtor and lived in Wisconsin. We asked her to help us.
We talked nearly every day. Eventually the conversations began to include information about our children, our lives.
We stayed in that condo for eight years. The complex had become run down and we again decided to ask my sister to help us find another place nearby. She found a beautiful place for us, and it wasn’t long before we moved in.
I didn’t want this new-found connection to disappear. So, I called her and said: “I can’t keep buying condos just to see you. I want us to act like real sisters.”
It’s been six years and I now have the sister I always wanted.
