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POSERS
Confessions of a Z-List Model
All that jiggles for the camera is not gold
I was having a third-of-life crisis. The year was 2010; we’d just moved to the L.A. area. Despite my husband’s claims to the contrary I’d decided I was no longer f*ckable, having three children and as Freddie Mercury once sang, “mortgages on homes” and “stiffness in my bones.”
I was a young mom and not uncute. But something about our family’s new neighborhood triggered a narcissistic need to feel like a beauty queen. For those who haven’t been to Santa Clarita, this bedroom community is a lot of good things. But it’s also a place where entertainment-industry wannabes go to breed and die.
Sorry, Santa Claritans. I love a lot of you! And many SCV people are very talented. My friend’s daughter is a budding screenwriter and theater actress — she rules. Hell, Napoleon Dynamite lives there. But it’s generally true.
This is the story of how I briefly “made it” on the modeling Z-list, 12+ years ago. Scratch that. “Z-list” is pushing it. Is there anything past “Z” in the alphabet? Who knows the Greek alphabet?
Gamma-list, really.
When In Rome
Our across-the-street neighbor had even been some kind of extra for Robert Downey, Jr. at…
