Father — Sorry For You Too

How life has taught me to understand my parents and forgive it all.

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Photo by Steven Van Loy on Unsplash

The Context

My father remained something of a mystery to me until relatively recently. This had to happen after his death; I was far too afraid of him before that, but when he died, I felt safe in the world.

He had been such a dominant and ultimately destructive part of my life, certainly it was a challenging relationship, but not because of either of us. I had managed to piece together much of the story of my relationship with him and to answer the question ‘WHY’ to fit my own experience of events as they happened.

But it wouldn’t lay to rest for me, and I couldn’t let it go.

Then, something occurred in another sphere of my life, which troubled me greatly and caused me some sleeplessness and a slight and unexpected, unplanned change of direction in my activities. Such is life!

The events themselves are unimportant, but what happened was a deeper challenge to my world paradigm, the understandings and judgments upon which my understanding of ‘ how life is’ was based.

It can be life-changing to go through these shifts in perceptions, and many people shut them down, but as a mindfulness practitioner, I tend to want to explore…

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Sylvia Clare MSc. Psychol, mindfulness teacher
The Memoirist

mindfulness essayist, poet, advocate for mental health and compassionate living, author of ‘No Visible Injuries’, ‘Living Well and Loving ADHD’ and many others