Fireworks: I found what I was looking for
As a teenager around the turn of the century, we had no social media flows or information highway to help us discover our musical identity. It was down to impressions from our surroundings, MTV, radio, friends, classmates, and in my case my sister. Come to think of it I owe her a thank you for buying me that punk-rock record from her coworker when I was 8 years old.
I remember devouring any music magazine I could find. Close-Up magazine for metal. Sonic for pop and rock and later The Word magazine, for everything else. Often the magazines had a sampler cd included, which was helpful.
I was always a weird kid, always found my own way and my own tastes, I still do I suppose. I read up on the roots of gothic rock, post-punk, Sisters of Mercy, Fields of the Nephilim, and the likes. The imagery and the moody songs appealed to me. One band was mentioned time and time again, Siouxie and the Banshees. One time I even saw them flash by on a tv documentary. Over time I convinced myself that Siouxie and the Banshees was my music. But it was hard to find any good records at all in my sleepy suburb.
At this age, I was finally able to take the train into the city by myself. I started discovering the city’s record stores. Once in a while, I bought a few CDs but most often I window shopped.
I don’t remember what record store I was in, probably Sound Pollution. I was flipping through all the records I couldn’t have. For some reason, I decided to have a look in the crate with 7” vinyl singles. In the middle of the crate, there it was, Siouxie and the Banshees — Fireworks.
I am sure I bought another record that day but my focus was on the little black disc in a battered sleeve. The hour-long train ride home felt longer than usual.
At the time I had a very small collection of Vinyl, mostly gifted to me by my brother-in-law, who took it upon himself to educate me in music, but CD was the medium of the times.
With nervous anticipation, I put the disc on the record player, lowered the needle.
The music was somewhat odd, it did not quite match the image I had created in my mind. It did make more sense after I realized I was listening at the wrong speed. The music was chaotic and raw, it felt difficult like I was too young to appreciate it, but I did. It was haunting and beautiful but still somewhat aggressive, maybe passionate is a better word.
In a way I found what I was looking for, the foundation of some of the other music I was listening to at the time. A lot can be written about the legacy of Siouxie Sioux.
I found something that day, not just a good song. I fell in love with discovery, finding new music. Something that has been a major part of my life since.
This was my first crate digging experience. I found something I had only heard about before. Something I had sought for and that was rare to a 16-year-old growing up in a Stockholm suburb a couple of years before the end of the millennium.
Have you had a similar experience?