Member-only story
Family | Relationships | Memoir
Grandma Says the Photo Isn’t of Her
She’s lying, but why?
Dust coated the blue lid of a plastic storage tub I found under my dresser. Disgusting. How long was this container hidden in my room, and why was it so dirty?
“I should clean this before I open it,” I mumbled, hoping tiny dust mites didn’t float through the air.
But I didn’t. Instead, I propped the blue lid in the corner of my bedroom and carried the tub to my bed. Sorting through old photos and trinkets could take a while, and I wanted to be comfortable.
It was a wasted effort, really. My neck aches, and my vision blurs and doubles from too much “near work,” as my neuro-optometrist calls it, but my worst pains aren’t physical. I’ve always been nostalgic, but sometimes unearthing old memories makes me uneasy. Some moments — and people — are better left forgotten.
I don’t remember this as I’m sorting through old photos, at least not at first. I was happy with the memories I discovered.
A stack of Polaroids was tossed carelessly over rows of 3x5 and 4x6 photos, scattered like my brain during a panic attack. I laughed as I found photo after photo of my friends and me wearing the same Tommy Hilfiger shirts in different colors. Like us, many older millennials embraced the Tommy era from the mid-to-late ’90s. Our ensembles weren’t complete without faux Birks from Payless, of course.
I pulled out another faded photo and smiled. A blonde girl with long, sleek hair smiled back as she stood on a crumbling front porch with an 8-year-old me. The friendly girl’s name was Emily, and she was my pen pal in 3rd grade. The summer before 4th grade, Emily’s family drove from Texas to Missouri so we could meet in person.
The day we met, Emily wore knee-length denim shorts and a modest navy pullover. I wanted cute, comfy clothes like my pen pal but was usually forced to wear skirts and dresses. “You look like a lesbian,” my mother complained whenever I tried wearing loose-fitting pants or tops.
Not surprisingly, my mother hated Emily’s outfit almost as much as she hated Emily’s family.
