How Windows Tell The Most Vital and Pivotal Stories of Our Lives

The life story of an immigrant observed from both sides of the glass

My kitchen view in Gozo. Photo by the author.

I’m sitting in my newly-rented apartment’s kitchen in Gozo, Malta, staring at scattered bushes, blindingly yellow flowers, and prickly pear cactuses outside my window. I’m admiring the ancient and robust citadel of this tiny capital as it rises above them, filled with curious sightseeing tourists who seem like miniature stalkers in the distance. “Humans like to look at the same sorts of nature vistas — certain viewed scenes relax us — and being calmer is good for our blood pressure as well as how our brain is working,” says Psychology Today. I can’t argue with that.

Though it’s January, the temperature is at a solid 15°C, and the sun is beaming like it doesn’t know it’s supposed to be winter. “Daylight is a sort of magical tonic for humans.” I also second that. After a month of living here, having weather so mild and generous still feels strange this time of the year. After 23 years in Hungary and 12 in England, this is a privilege I treasure dearly. As an introverted writer who spends 90 percent of the day inside, having such a sight is a gift. Among other reasons, it’s why I moved here, and it made me reflect on all my previous views (from flats and houses) in different countries over the past three decades.

The Windows of My Childhood in Hungary

When I was in high school, my classmates used to joke about how I “looked down” on them from home because I lived on top of a hill. When I opened the shutters each morning, I nearly saw the entire city beneath me — including both the schools I went to — a generally pleasing view in a bland and lifeless town that became more mundane the older I got. Don’t get me wrong, I love romanticizing the places of my past, but I’d be lying if I said that all my memories are attached to nothing but joy and abundant glee recalling those sights from my upbringing.

I remember looking out my bedroom window as I handed some cash to my ex-girlfriend for an abortion when we were practically still kids. How it destroyed our young love — a nearly 7-year-long relationship — and her tears pleading for an emotional support I was unable to give. I was staring…