If Self-Improvement Were an Olympic Sport, I’d Have Won Gold in Junior High
This Gen X girl was in it to win it
Just sit in the bath with the jeans on, they said.
It was the early 80s and I was in junior hell school when Levi’s came in one option only: 501, button-up, and shrink-to-fit.
Word on the street, or actually at the roller rink, was that when the jeans touched water they would magically give you the body God forgot to.
I waited as the water turned blue. My little brother came to inquire about my progress, which was a good thing since I’d need his help getting out.
What they don’t tell you is how heavy denim is when wet. Once the water was cold and I couldn’t feel my legs because of my position in the tub, my brother helped me to stand.
Now what? I asked him. He shrugged, his 4th-grade brain unable to understand the science behind my endeavor.
I hung the wet jeans on the back of my bedroom door and waited for them to dry, staring at them like I would a shrine, praying for the magical shrinkage to come.
It did. And I had a new pair of highwaters to wear.
That’s okay, I thought. Nothing a pair of leg warmers couldn’t fix.
