Leaving My Undies Behind at Macy’s in the 80's
After accidentally agreeing to a date for prom
Having never lost a pair of panties before, at least in a parking lot, I have to wonder how this occurs. — Conni Walkup Hull in When You Lose Your Underwear at Lowe’s
How did this happen? I asked myself as a teenager back in the 80’s. I’d somehow lost a pair of panties while shopping for a prom dress at Macy’s.
I was no Brooke Shields. Something always came between me and my Calvins. Or at least it would have done if I owned any Calvin Klein jeans. With a single pair of designer jeans requiring over 50 hours of babysitting, the closest I came to Kleins was sighing wistfully over the pages of Seventeen magazine. Ditto Jordache, Vanderbilt, and Guess.
Valley Girl was a big screen hit the year my family moved from Kentucky to California. Sacramento Valley is like totally not San Fernando but whatever. It’s still miles away from Louisville and I had a lot of shopping to do if I didn’t want to be a dweeb.
A girl can’t live in jeans alone. I also needed Esprit crop tops, Gap sweaters, baby blue Minnetonka moccasins, stirrup pants and shoulder pads. Don’t even get me started on accessories. Big hair was an absolute must. Do you think those bangs were going to feather themselves? No. It took…
