MEMOIRIST IDOL

Life Chess: King Narcissist, Kid Pawns, and a Queen With Open Eyes and Ears

I watch his every move across the board.

Image by more photos boosty.to/victoria_art_music from Pixabay

My daughter spoke at warped speed, her words tumbled out on top of each other, energized by hope and good fortune.

Her voice filtered in and out through my ears and became background echoes in my brain.

I lost focus. The debate in my mind kept overriding the words she shared. Internal shrieking alarm bells and frantically waving red flags overshadowed her glee.

As my daughter filled in details and brought me up to speed regarding her living situation, I fought to keep the ricocheted pinball in my head from bouncing all over the place. The raw truth shocked me, yet possessed a familiar ring of deceit and disgust that I knew well from the past.

Silent screams ripped through my heart and brain as I stifled my heightened angst. How far will this damage reach?

I kept it together on the outside. Though an adult, she’s still my child who continues to navigate mental illnesses and emotional delays on the spectrum. My years of practice and success in quelling my inner turmoil work well in communicating with her. I swallowed the acid and stuffed back any personal need to erupt. No…