Life’s Struggle
The Uncommonly Strong Will to Live — and Win
From the instinctive “Fight to Survive” we first learned in our youth to our “Will to Live” middle-age stage to the “Acceptance of Death” senior stage, the normal progress of aging may just be a matter of attitude, born of one’s physical stamina to resist the limitations of age and born of the mental toughness to challenge to hurdles that arise on a daily basis.
And to all that, I say: Bullshit! Not that it’s untrue, you understand. It’s just really unpleasant to hear.
I understand the aging process more than I ever wanted to by now. Morning by morning, I degenerate into a painful, lengthening series of creaks and cracks and, “Jesus, that one hurt!”
But trust me here, I have a Great attitude!
Yes, I’m almost 72 years old and I’m still working. Don’t judge. You’re not in my shoes. But working has kept me younger than most people my age. People will say I look good for a 100-year-old man. And I tell them I’m 42. Haha. Old joke by now for everybody but me.
Attitude really IS everything! And my work friends have kept me healthy beyond my wildest dreams. They, of course, are younger than I am — like, who isn’t? But that means they think differently than people my age. They challenge my comfort zone.
They look at problems differently. They have fresh eyes that view the world with a brighter vision than mine. They actually believe they are going to live long enough to solve them. Hahaha!! They’ll learn. . .
I have had the distinct advantage of being a physical mutant by being 6' 5" tall. Throughout my life, it has gotten me unwarranted respect I didn’t earn, unexpected prime seating at restaurants when I showed up and probably a wife or two I didn’t deserve. Being tall has its definite advantages.
But it has also doomed me to a life of impossibly cramped seats on airlines and in movie theaters, and almost no modern car can hold me — even SUVs. And it has also doomed my back to an early sentence of arthritis, nerve pain, sciatica, etc., with my body’s long bones acting as effective levers to stress surrounding tendons and nerves.
Five years after back surgery, I’m still fun to watch as I struggle to just stand coming off the toilet (not that I have an audience, you understand, but our tour of Versailles a few years ago gave me some money-making ideas involving audiences in our bathrooms like Louis IV had in his bathrooms.)
And I see people quietly taking bets on which way I’m going to fall over after I’ve been standing erect for 5 minutes. Really, I’m fun to watch! There may be short video in a future article but I’m not ready for that level of openness with you all just yet.
The Point of all this, you ask?
Does my struggle against aging all go back to the “Will to Survive?” Hell, No! It’s all about “The Will to Win!!” Animals fight to survive. We humans fight to win! This increasingly decrepit state in which I find myself is a threat more to my Pride than to my mobility.
My memories of hitting blindingly-fast liners down the line while playing tennis in my youth have long since faded. Hitting booming golf shots from the back tees are a thing of the past.
I have to content myself with my athletic prowess of solving crossword puzzles and playing online chess. Sigh. It’s simply embarrassing! Instead of Contract Bridge, maybe I can look for a pickup game of “Contact Bridge.” Or better yet, “Tackle Bridge!”
The fact that I’m closer in time to my death than I am to my birth is not a problem for me. But looking bad and goofily stumbling about, providing entertainment to others around me while I wait for the Inevitable is mortifying!
I don’t see this as a game I can win.
And THAT, people, goes against my every instinct.
