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Gender Life Lessons
My Daughter Found her Nirvana in the Boys’ Section of a Clothing Store
Parenting a Gender Nonconforming Child in a Binary Society
“Alana, doctors can just sew a penis on you so you can be a boy,” explained a classmate to my third-grade daughter. How was I to know that the most comforting words regarding gender identity would come from a fourth-grader? Those words helped my daughter, Alana, more than any of my attempts to comfort her about gender identity.
Of course, changing your gender to male is a bit more complicated than just “sewing on a penis.” You also need to demand higher pay for doing the same job as a woman and learn how to “mansplain,” but those skills are easy to acquire.
My first epiphany regarding Alana’s gender identity occurred when she was 2½ years old. Just like people remember where they were when something monumental happens, such as your first kiss or the birth of a child, I remember the exact location.
Alana, her sister, and I were shopping at a Gymboree store. Gymboree sells the most adorable thematic lines of clothing that run strongly along gender roles. For example, for girls, they sell pastel-colored clothes each featuring a theme, such as puppies, dancers, or the need to say “sorry” all the time.
