My Divorce Lasted 13 Wonderful Years Longer Than My Marriage

We sometimes joke about making it to fifty years without a single argument.

My marriage was comparable those whack celebrity unions that only last a few minutes. I googled “shortest celebrity marriages” and we were right on track with Pamela Anderson and Kidd Rock.

Our wedding date was New Years Eve 2005 and by April I knew it was over.

During our two years of dating before marriage, we were that couple. The couple everybody looks at and wishes they could be like. We were so in love that we always said if we ever split up, we’d have to be neighbors so we could continue “borrowing a cup of sugar” forever.

It was that good.

I remember one particular night during our courtship, we went bar-hopping and I drank too much. I spent the majority of the night inside a bathroom stall hurling my guts out. He stayed in the ladies room with me for hours holding my hair and rubbing my back.

In between heaves I could hear other women in the bathroom saying, “He’s been in there with her all night. What a good man.”

Indeed, he was. That’s the kind of man every woman dreams of, no? The man who has her back no matter how shamefully she behaves.