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My Shyness in High School Led To One of My Greatest Regrets
High school wasn’t fun at all
It was a weekend night at Yokota Air Force Base in Fussa, Japan. Like a lot of high school kids, I went to the Base Theatre to see a movie. I purchased my ticket and turned to get in line. That’s when I saw her.
Her name was Esther. Like me, she was overweight. She was different from me in that she never seemed to have a problem getting a date.
We got along great. What was my problem?
We often talked and flirted when we saw each other in the smoking area at school. I was obtuse and stunted, I never dated, and I was mostly interested in beer and cigarettes but I was obsessed like all teenage boys with girls, I felt the chemistry, but I was too chicken to do anything about it. Things heated up when Esther got a job bussing tables at the Non-Commissioned Officers Club where I was a dishwasher.
We would laugh and tease each other having a good time on the job. I had strong feelings for her and it was obvious she was digging me as well.
What was I afraid of? I have no clue
I saw Esther as she walked to the ticket window alone. A few yards separated us. I went inside the theatre and took a seat. I saw Esther sit down on the other side of the theatre.
“ Get off your ass Lawson,” I screamed to myself. I don’t know what my problem was. I was a senior in high school and I never dated. I was insecure about my weight and my learning disabilities. Girls obsessed me.
I was too scared to get off my ass to go sit with her
I didn’t have the confidence to do anything about it. I sat rooted in the seat damned near having a stroke or a heart attack as my inner coward won the war.
I enjoyed the movie and went straight home alone afterward. I put it behind me. I somehow forgot about losing the inner war. I saw Esther a few nights later at work.
Esther was not happy at all, and she made that clear
She brought a tray of dishes back and slammed them on the counter, throwing the…
