SATIRE
My Zoom with the Afterlife
Ignorance is bliss. And so is a good potato chip.
The other day I got an email from Zoom saying that they had upgraded their service. They urged me check out their new features. I clicked on the link. One of the more cryptic new menu options was “Zoom with the Afterlife.”
“Speak to your favorite deceased relative! $29.95” What?
“If, for any reason, you cannot Zoom with your loved one, we will refund your money.” Ha! I figured I’d log on, see what the joke was, and then get my refund. It would be good for a cheap laugh, right?
That’s when things got weird. They put up a DocuSign limitation of liability. I scanned through it quickly, but who looks at those, anyway? I wanted to Zoom with the afterlife. Accept. Accept. Accept. Sign.
A prompt said, “Please enter the name of the person you would like to Zoom?” I typed in Gloria Thr, and a dropdown menu appeared with Gloria Throne, my mom. How did they know that?
I clicked on her name. A little circle appeared in the middle of the screen, and a dot went around the circle for a few seconds. “Please wait.”
My Zoom app opened up. Then it said “Admit Gloria Throne into meeting?” The joke was close at hand. I clicked on it.
