Planning A Big Event Under Mercury Retrograde
What can possibly go wrong?
Well, no. Nothing as bad went wrong as what’s seen in that photo. But it felt like it at times.
*Mercury in Retrograde per an article in Time by Wilder Davies: “When the planet Mercury enters apparent retrograde motion, that marks the beginning of a span of misfortune down on Earth. At least, that is, according to proponents of astrology, who have made the phrase “Mercury in retrograde” (or the more grammatically correct “Mercury retrograde”) an increasingly buzzy one over the past few years.”
All links in the quote are to relevant articles in Time magazine. I use the phrase ‘Mercury in Retrograde’ in a tongue-in-cheek manner and not even accurately per the actual calendar times of the retrograde, so I beg the reader’s indulgence.
Celebrating 50 years of marriage is a pretty big event. We are not big party people. Our idea of a great celebration is to gather our immediate family together for a shared vacation getaway.
We started planning about 18 months in advance. We booked a five-bedroom house rental at a marvelous north woods resort on a lake. We researched all the offered activities at the resort, ranging from massages to pontoon rentals, to zip-lining and horseback riding. And hiking, of course. Always hiking.
We booked a fancy dinner at a historic venue right on the shores of Lake Superior.
Flight reservations and hotel reservations were made to facilitate transporting people up to the near wilderness site.
The event took place during the very height of the summer vacation and travel season, when tourists flock to the area we love, so we knew early planning was essential.
About eight months out from our event, a family member developed a serious back problem. It did not improve, in fact, it got worse as time went on. About a month out, we began to fear that health issues would keep this family member and their spouse from being able to travel.
Scrambling for a Plan B.
Grandparents would transport the grand-kids in lieu of going with their parents. But how to handle accommodations en route?
We had a non-refundable hotel room for two nights en route after picking up a family member flying in to rendezvous with us. The hotel room had two queen beds for three adults and now two kids. Hmmmm.
Not so workable.
Call the hotel. NO more rooms available. Height of the vacation season you know.
Call other hotels. No rooms available.
Okay, tell parents to be sure to pack kids’ sleeping bags and we would stuff five people into the room and trust the hotel would not boot us out.
We would not ask permission. We would perhaps ask forgiveness.
Also, pack very light, everybody. We would be driving in a four-door sedan that seats five. Generous trunk space, but still. PACK LIGHT.
While mourning the expected absence of two loved family members, practical considerations required parents to provide us with legal, notarized permission to get emergency health care for grand-kids, along with copies of their health insurance information.
Because the way things were going, someone might break an arm or cut a foot. Mercury is in retrograde.
Three days before departure, ailing family member assesses her condition and decides a cautious road trip, broken up with frequent stops to pamper back pain, is feasible. She packs all her prescription pain meds, special pillows, and a particularly back-friendly portable chair.
General joy ensues! Original plan back in motion!
Hubby and I drive to the Twin Cities, meet up with friends for a good visit before picking up the family member who flew in from the coast. The three of us have a nice dinner and go to our hotel.
By the way, it is mid-July and beastly hot in the city.
Get into our room which is smaller than we anticipated. All of us are glad we didn’t have to try to squeeze in five people!
Sticky in the room, so we crank up the wall air conditioner. Soon one of us is complaining of being too cold, and yet the comfort level is not much better. It turns out that the unit is lowering the temperature, but doing nothing to dehumidify.
Pretty soon everything is cold, but clammy and damp. Bedding, pillows. Towels that won’t dry.
Mercury in retrograde.
We tough it out. It’s only two nights.
Next day, we get locked out of our room. None of our key cards work. Desk clerk’s master key card does not work either.
We decide this is not our problem. It is the desk clerk’s problem and we tell her so. She calls the manager off-site, who will have to come and install a new electronic lock.
We say fine, fine. (Mercury is fully in retrograde.) And we head off to sit in our favorite coffee shop where we heavily caffeinated ourselves.
When we return, door situation is resolved and we can access our still damp room for the last night. Thank heavens, last night.
Next morning we check out and get the hell out of Dodge! Heading for northern shores and woodsy respite. All goes well, family rendezvous in Duluth for lunch. We take the kids for special ice cream at a recommended creamery in town. Kids are always the best excuse for an ice cream stop.
We drive north to our resort. One stop for expensive groceries in a small resort town, then on to check into our rental house.
I was particularly looking forward to the screened porch described on the resort website, anticipating mosquito-free enjoyment of the evening air and breezes. Remember, though. Mercury is in retrograde.
There is a screened porch. It has a sagging screen door that does not quite close and with a large rip in the lower screen section. Damn.
We settle in for the night. Kids are thrilled. Each of them gets their very own room! Lights out. Drifting off.
In the room hubby and I have, the smoke alarm starts beeping. Insistently. Lights on. The damn thing is near the ceiling, about 15 feet up there. Seventy-something-year-old hubby climbs on a chair, then onto a dresser and manages to disable the bleeping alarm.
He climbs safely down, lights off, and back into his bed. Which collapses. The hell with it, he sleeps there anyway.
Mercury is definitely in retrograde.
Next morning the resort handyman comes and fixes the smoke alarm, and repairs the bed which had just shifted off its supports. All is well.
Grandpa and grand-kid go off on their zip-lining adventure. Get all the training, get geared up into their harnesses. Ready to go, right?
Wrong. Grand-kid makes a heartfelt decision to absolutely decline the thrill of a canopy zip-line rush. Okay. No zip-lining. The vendor is most kind and understanding. We get a partial refund and all is again well.
Next day is our pontoon rental for a lazy afternoon of slow cruising the beautiful lake and letting the older grand-kid fish off the boat. We have visions of fresh walleye for our dinner.
Alas, winds are high. The lake is choppy. No water activities permitted today. We reschedule.
Next day, three family members are off hiking through woods to waterfalls and overlooks. The kids and we two women are hanging out in our beautiful rental home. Daughter just finished telling me she had her massage in a tent because last May the spa building burned to the ground. Electrical fire.
Suddenly, every smoke alarm in our large house starts screeching. It is ear-splittingly loud and well, ALARMING! We start searching the premises, sniffing for smoke, checking all the appliances, finding nothing, calling the lodge for help.
Handyman comes again, agrees the shrieking alarms are terrible but finds no evidence of an actual fire. So he searches for the right circuit breaker to shut the noise down. Succeeds and leaves.
Fifteen minutes later the alarms all start shrieking again. Every. Single. One. They have battery backup for when power is cut off.
We call again for help. This time the volunteer Fire Marshall comes. He has all the info on when each smoke alarm was installed and a diagram of their locations. He finds the faulty alarm (ten years old and worn out), replaces it and three others, and we are assured the problem is fixed.
Finally, it is our last full day at the resort since we check out pretty early next morning, so we go for our rescheduled pontoon excursion. Winds are still too high. No boating. We get a full refund though.
But you know what? The entire trip was still a success. Fun was had. Many conversations, many family games played. Good hiking, fun horseback riding.
And the key celebration of our 50th wedding anniversary dinner was a complete success. Beautiful lakeside ambiance. Excellent food and drink. Friendly and professional service.
Our two beautiful and thoughtful children put their heads together, worked with a bakery in Duluth to replicate our original wedding cake, and even smuggled our original cake topper decoration out of our house to use once more.
Mercury in Retrograde, you can just see yourself out. You are nothing when pitted against family love!
EPILOGUE: the last morning in the Twin Cities, having breakfast in our hotel, I broke a molar eating sausage and scrambled eggs. It was a fragile molar with a large old filling, ready to fail. I believe this was Mercury’s final slap at me! But happily it caused me no pain and it is being replaced with a crown.
Again I say to Mercury in Retrograde, is this all you got? Ha!
