Starting Over…Every Sunday
Living each day and growing with every mistake and stumble
Starting over with good intentions and not succeeding seems to be a trend in my life.
I was married 3 times and I swear I thought each time I had found my life partner, for better or for worse until death do us part. So. getting married 3 times and failing at that in which I was raised to do is a major bummer.
I am now alone and although it’s not what I started life wanting, I am happy. I am getting to know me, myself and I along with all the good, the bad and the ugly.
In my family we celebrate Shabbat, starting Friday at sundown and ending on Saturday and sundown. For 25 glorious hours we do nothing but eat, read and play games (no cell phones, no TV’s and no computers). On Sunday morning I start my day with a smoothie and try to eat clean to calibrate the overeating I did on Friday night and Saturday. Every Sunday I vow that next Shabbat I will eat less and every Shabbat I lose to the temptation. It’s no wonder that since 1990, my lowest weight to date, until today in January 2022 I am 30 lbs heavier. I reason with myself that the 30 lbs are reasonable considering my age and having had 4 full term pregnancies but I am not ready to let go of my dream of one day being the same weight I was in 1990.
I started over many times in my work life too. I had many jobs since age 12. I didn’t graduated college and didn’t get a degree in anything, I worked at what came my way. My mindset didn’t think it terms of a career in a profession. I was raised to be a good wife and mother.
And yet my jobs gave me a chock full of experience. I worked at Yardman and Yaruss in the diamond district in NYC and I can tell you about how gold is sold and jewelry is made. I was an importer of confectionery items and in the 10 years working in the importing business I learned a whole lot about negotiations, sales and how to load a container maximizing space to minimize the costs. I know by heart all the prices plus tax thanks to being a cashier at Jimmy’s Music World on 5th avenue in Manhattan (selling vinyl records). The cash registers back then didn’t tell you how much change to give back to the customers. I know and despise the fashion industry, so don’t ask me about it. I worked in a bank vault where I counted money received from all over the world in UPS and DHL packages (the owner of the bank went to jail). I traded in the S&P market screaming frantically into the phone to the traders on the Chicago trading floor. I was a mortgage broker until 2007 and now I love my career as a residential real estate professional in NYC. I plan on working in this business until I am very old because there is nothing more exciting than seeing the smile, joy and relief of a client when they buy the home of their dreams or a seller that moves on to their next chapter. Mission Accomplished feels good.
I have started over too many times and I am done starting over. I want to live my life in the now, not thinking of the future and not dwelling on the past. Every day, not just on Sunday, is an opportunity to do the best you can. I am not starting over anymore, I am living each day and growing with every mistake and stumble.
