There Were Roaches in My Bed
Decades later, these creepy crawlers still terrify me
Content warning: This piece references abuse, neglect, poverty, and other topics that may be uncomfortable for some readers.
White powder falls gently from a tiny scoop, coating the cheap vinyl tiles under my stove. It looks like snow.
“What are you doing?” one of my kids asks.
“Scaring away roaches,” I reply, sprinkling Borax near our fridge. I’d use the Advion syringes next.
“We have roaches?!” my child asks, alarmed.
“No. And I’m making sure we never do,” I assure him. I’ll trap and release spiders or flies, but roaches? They won’t survive if they venture into our home.
My kids disagree. “Cockroaches can survive anything, even a nuclear blast,” one son informs me.
“Not in this house,” I tell him as I rummage under the sink for more roach bait. My kids won’t have a childhood like mine, and that means keeping the roaches away. Nobody bothered doing that when I was a kid.
I blink back tears as I squeeze Advion gel on scraps of cardboard from an Amazon box I found under my bed. My bed is comfortable and clean, with sheets that go for a spin in the washer regularly, but sometimes I’m scared to sleep in it…
