Threads of Joy and Sorrow Connect Our Marriages Across the Generations
Reflections on your 4th wedding anniversary
A foolish mother
You gag every time I tell the story of my foolishness at your birth. The obstetrician took one look at you and proclaimed you beautiful and predicted that you were going to “break a lot of hearts.” AND I BELIEVED HIM!
It was as if he branded your future with a purpose. How I had longed to be beautiful and leave a trail of heartbroken males in my wake! It was the beginning of a streak of shallowness, where I projected onto you silly wishes for my own “do-overs.”
Fortunately, you were born with an excellent bullshit detector and refused to follow in my clumsy footprints.
An intrusive mother
You never needed my pronouncements about your future. You didn’t even have the tolerance I pretended to have when my mother tried to steer. I was so sure about the brass rings in your future — a loving family, friends, high achievement, love, marriage, children. I tried not to be intrusive.
I thought I was being cool about it, “So what do you think is a good age to get married?” “How many children will you have?” “How close do you think women should live to their mothers?” “What professional degree do…
