Trapped for 72 Days With a Maniac Getting on my Nerves
A lockdown story
Mid-March 2020 caught me living in Spain.
I had just finished my Ph.D. and was working as a tourist guide to save money while preparing for my next career move. My partner was working as a teacher. These were the two first sectors to close when Spain decided to shut down.
Soon after, as the country closed everything except the essential services — healthcare, supermarkets, pharmacies, etc. — our flatmate joined us.
Three people closed in a flat, 24/7.
An extreme lockdown
For almost three months — 72 days, to be precise — we could only go outside to buy food or medicine or to seek healthcare. Those with dogs could go out to walk them (soon, there was a mafia of people renting their dogs to their neighbors so they could go outside!).
My partner and I would only leave the apartment to go to the supermarket — and I would also take that time to sneak to my car and turn it on so the battery wouldn’t die.
Meanwhile, my parents were comfy in their large home in the countryside of Portugal, where the Government allowed ‘hygienic walks.’ People could go outside for a walk; they were not as restricted as we were in Spain.
That made me feel even more trapped, dreaming of being at my parents, where I could have some fresh air in the backyard or go for a walk on the nearby pinewoods.
But Spain had closed the borders. There was no way out!
Not being able to leave the flat put a toll on my body. I had only two positions: lying on the bed or sitting at the desk. And though I exercised every day — those follow-along workout videos on YouTube were life savers — my whole body ached for a simple walk. Whenever I went out to buy groceries, it was like my legs were discovering walking all over again.
As time went by, my desire to go back home intensified.
Our loner flatmate
One year earlier, we had decided to share a flat to save some money and moved in to live with someone we knew from my work and who was part of our group of friends. It was supposed to be for a short period, so we thought it would be fine.
We were wrong!
As we entered the lockdown, I was already a bit fed up with the flatmate — let’s call her Flat.
So, when I learned we would be trapped in that flat 24/7 with Flat, I took a deep breath — it’d test my patience to the limit!
Cold war in the balcony
It had started way before the lockdown.
I had been writing the thesis in the bedroom I shared with my partner. The desk, nailed to the wall, was beside the window, which opened to an enclosed balcony. I liked to keep the window open to let in the fresh air.
The problem was that the balcony was shared and only accessible through Flat’s bedroom. And Flat liked to use it as an extension of her bedroom. That enclosed balcony was where she kept her laundry and shoes; it was where she went to look outside and talk out loud to herself or the cat.
So, Flat liked to have control of the balcony’s outside windows. If she wanted fresh air, she’d open the one in front of her bedroom. When she didn’t, she’d close the windows on her side and mine; it didn’t matter if my bedroom window was open.
God forbid she had to close her bedroom doors, and the poor cat couldn’t play with the garbage on the balcony.
Once or twice I was in my bedroom and stopped her when she went to close the balcony’s window on my side. Oh, how she hated it!
During the lockdown, she kept on with her mission to control the balcony’s windows. She even went as far as closing the window on my side and opening hers for no apparent reason. That was when I was sure she was doing it to get on my nerves. Or maybe she thought I opened the window to get on hers because she sometimes closed the window so loudly that I was sure she was pissed.
But it wasn’t only that.
No privacy for the couple
Every morning, as we got up to have breakfast, we didn’t have to wait 5 minutes until she was there to do the same. And every time one of us, my partner and I, stepped into the kitchen close enough to meal time, Flat would be there the next minute to make some comment or use the kitchen too.
The only short moments we had (some) peace was when she was sprawled out on the couch talking to the television or on her bed for the siesta. And even then, we had no privacy. She was either talking out loud or napping with her bedroom door open.
Whenever we were talking in our bedroom, we would sense her on the balcony. One day, my partner was on the phone, and wherever he went in the flat, she would appear, almost like she was trying to listen.
Then there were also some weird attitudes that we were almost sure she was trying to get on our nerves. Once, she decided to wash the garbage tins in the bathtub right after we cleaned the bathroom.
And then, there was the ‘walk’ episode.
The ‘walk’ episode
Halfway into the lockdown, I was at the computer, keeping myself busy, when I heard someone walking around.
And then I saw it too, as Flat appeared at my window. Then she disappeared, and I heard the steps through her bedroom and the corridor until she appeared at my bedroom door. Then back to the window. Then back to the door. Window, door, window, door. It was driving me crazy!
I messaged my partner, who had his desk in the living room just in front of her bedroom door, asking what was happening. He told me she was walking back and forth behind him, making him nervous.
I couldn’t stand it anymore. I stepped out of my room and asked,
‘What are you doing?’
‘I’m walking around. Don’t feel like doing anything else.’, she said.
I just rolled my eyes and went to calm down my partner. She got in her room and did the rest of the walking there. I think she was counting her steps on her smartphone. The rest of the lockdown, she did her ‘walks’ in her room with the door closed, even after we were allowed to go outside to exercise!
No way out
When the total lockdown got to an end, the atmosphere remained quite heavy in that flat. My partner and I had almost ceased speaking to her. And because we were in the same group of friends, we started avoiding the rest too. So, we were very antisocial by then.
And when we were allowed to get together again, things got awkward because we couldn’t just make an excuse or not answer the invites. After all, she was always there.
We wanted to move out of that flat but didn’t want to invest the money when the job market was so unpredictable, and we weren’t sure we wanted to stay in that town anymore.
My urge to leave grew by the hour, but I still had a job and was reticent in throwing it away. My partner hesitated because leaving meant staying with our parents for a while.
We were in this standoff when I received a call to go back to work. So we decided to endure that prison for some more time.
Freedom
It took some more months until we finally left.
I went to work for a couple of months, but they reduced our hours, so I never knew when I’d finish the contract. And less so if they would hire me again afterward.
Meanwhile, the borders opened, and I had forced vacations, so we could go and visit our parents in their homes. After that, staying in that flat became unbearable.
So when we heard Spain was closing borders again soon, we knew it was our shot. It took us three car trips to move all our stuff between the countries — each one-way trip was about 600 km (~ 370 mi).
We made over 4000 km (~2500 mi) in a month!
But those crazy trips felt like freedom!
The day after we made our last trip and I woke up in my teenage bedroom, I was finally at ease! And I felt instantly saner.
Some months later, Portugal entered a lockdown too. But this time, we hardly noticed. We were in a larger house, with enough space and privacy, and surrounded by people we loved. And if we needed to clean our minds, we could go outside.
Anyway, I know Flat was as eager to get rid of us as we were to get away from her.
And I do not blame her alone for the negative vibe.
My partner and I got each other, and maybe she felt alone. I know I am not easy to live with — I like things my way and get easily annoyed. And I probably have a terrible aura when I’m annoyed (and so does my partner).
But something tells me that having been trapped with her saved our relationship. I heard of so many couples who broke up during the lockdown. I guess having someone else to be pissed at prevented us from getting mad at each other (at least most of the time).
Thank you for reading!
Have you ever shared a flat with someone that seems to occupy all the space with their presence? Do you have a funny or awkward episode with a flatmate? I’d like to hear all about it!
