How Social Isolation Affects Your Well-being and What You Can Do About It

How to find support when you’re suffering.

Effects of social isolation on mental wellness

This time of social isolation has been a struggle for so many of us.

True, we are lonely and true we are bored, but for so many people, the feelings go deeper than that. I believe that one of the reasons people struggle so much is because isolation and lack of distraction exposes our deepest fears and insecurities.

Crisis situations tend to bring out the best and worst in people. Often people scramble for resources and hoard, while some get violent and others support people in the community. We see it in the news and on social media. Research following these kinds of events shows how traumatic this kind of exposure to media can be.

Find support for your suffering

Not only that, but so many people are not working or do not feel as productive as they once felt.

Has the lack of work or isolation left you feeling worthless, useless, abandoned or lost? If so you are not alone. These are what psychologists refer to as attachment wounds. If you suffer in this way, it is really important that you find support to deal with these feelings.

You can seek the support of friends and family, though it can be difficult for friends and family to help you work through the feelings because they are unlikely to be objective. You can also seek the support of a therapist or counselor, but if you cannot afford it, you can find support in other ways. Talk to a chaplain or minister or seek relief through spiritual practice, artistic expression, or music.

How can you heal attachment wounds?

I will be the first person to tell you as a therapist that working through attachment wounds is not easy, but it can be incredibly worthwhile in the end.

If you can afford counseling, working through attachment wounds can improve your relationships and all other aspects of your life.

What you can expect in therapy

First, find someone you trust who will listen to you objectively without judgment.

You need to establish a trusting relationship with a counselor who you know will provide appropriate support for you as you learn to deal with these emotions.

Depending on your level of skill, you will spend time building your coping muscles. Just like exercise, the skills you need to strengthen may include:

· Acceptance of loss- most of the time, attachment wounds are related to a sense of loss and involve dealing with grief. Grief can be complex and difficult to manage, and that is why healing can be so difficult.

· Recognizing your emotional needs- Whether you choose to confront your worst fears, you can benefit from learning about why you feel the way you do and what you can do about it in your every day life.

· Finding ways to meet your emotional needs- People who have attachment wounds my struggle with finding ways to get their needs met. You may have difficulty connecting with others and difficulty recognizing what your needs are.

· Improving your tolerance of the emotions in the present moment- most of us are used to distracting ourselves. Up until this point, most of our lives have been filled to the max with social events, hobbies, meetings, community and relationships. Rarely do we sit with ourselves and face our most difficult emotions and fears, even on a day-to-day basis. Improving your tolerance for dealing with emotions can be challenging, but you can learn to do this. It is a skill.

Finally, in therapy, you will need to learn to tolerate being completely present with the emotions related to your fears and insecurities. Sometimes this process may involve recalling specific memories, though it is not always necessary. This kind of therapy may require you to be able to tolerate distress, depending on your level of trauma. The good news is that once you can be present with these emotions, the triggers affect you less.

Whatever you choose to do, I hope you find support and know that healing is possible.