Ballad Of A Wannabe Barista
The Daily Maybe #24.
Rejection is the one constant of human experience.
— Howard Jacobson
“Candidate Application Received.” This is it. This is the beginning of something new. This is the first step towards my dream student life of being a writer and barista, living and breathing the essence of java. This is how I start reinventing myself for university, and develop the artsyboi™ aesthetic in full. This is the dawn of the story I want to live.
“Thank you for your interest.” This is an actual rejection. This is the rejection I get after applying in April 2017. This is the rejection that confuses and hurts me the most; the position literally had “NO EXPERIENCE NEEDED” above it in big red letters. This was the application I thought I had in the bag — if anyone doesn’t have any experience, it’s me.
This is the first rejection.
“Candidate Application Received.” This is the rebound. This is the application that says “I refuse to give up.” This is me leaving the hard boss battle and coming back with better armour — my resume is beefier and more relevant to the coveted role of barista. This is the continuation of my very own pursuit of happiness.
This is Round Two.
“Your application has expired.” This is not even a proper rejection. This is the result of no-one bothering to properly look at my profile. This is a half-assed way of telling me “sorry, you still didn’t get the job.” This is the trigger of disappointment after I finally bit the bullet and applied to stores all the way in downtown Toronto.
This is the catalyst of my disdain for Starbucks Talent Acquisition.
“Candidate Application Received.” This is my Logan. This is me coming back, years later (or, just, one…), no longer wondrous and excited, but instead grizzled, cynical, and only here out of sheer necessity. This is the biggest affront to Starbucks’ apparent unwillingness to hire me yet; seven stores, all downtown, all primed for my summer employment.
This is war.
“Your application has expired.” This is the moment where, even after obtaining and upgrading Ivaldi’s Armour of Deadly Mist, the Valkyrie Queen Sigrun still kicks my ass. This is the moment where, after doing well all World Cup, I get knocked out by bloody Russia in penalties. This is the moment where, after almost removing the Rejection Gauntlet, my efforts are undone as Starbucks-Lord decides to punch my fate in its big purple face. Repeatedly.
This is the universe deciding its had enough of my efforts towards baristahood.
“Ballad of a Wannabe Barista.” This… is now. This is what I write instead of a cover letter for my inevitable next Starbucks application, because who the hell writes a whole-ass cover letter for a barista job?! This is where I expose how uppity I really am by typing that last sentence. This is also where I lament that my desire for a simple, convenient job at the coffee shop ten minutes down the road from me has spiraled into a tale so ridiculous I manage to actually write a blog post about it. This is my pit-stop before actually getting on that cover letter.
This is not the end.
🍉 Hey there, dear Reader. As ever: been a while, hasn’t it? I do apologise, but I have no fair reason or excuse to give you for my absence. I just… Haven’t wanted to blog. I haven’t been going through any particularly tough moment in life, nor have I had all that much to do. I’ve literally just not been bothered to write.
And that is bad. And I am sorry. I’m back for now, and have a blog post planned for the next scheduled post in two days. We’re still going, dear Reader.
You may have noticed the lack of intro, and the remixed title format. This post is yet another comeback from a slump, you see, so I wanted to honour that renewed vigour a little more explicitly this time. To do so, I dove right into the post: no “Hello and welcome!” or even series title. This post is an entity that I want to be recognised for what it is in its own right, unattached to any series identity that I’ve crafted for my blog.
As for what I actually have been doing: effort has not been completely missing from my life. I finished God of War yesterday, earning the Platinum trophy (achieved upon earning all other trophies in the game) while doing so. I’m not typically a full-completionist with narrative-driven games, often feeling fine with completing the main story and enough side quests to significantly upgrade my protaganist. Being so close and capable of going all the way this time, however, I decided I would for Kratos.
I’ve also been reading more and more on Medium, hoping to take full advantage of premium membership (yes I actually paid for it). On the note of Medium, two timely posts helped this post come to be:
I’m not going to paraphrase or quote here: both of these are fully worth your time and reading. All I want to say is that I stumbled upon both of these today, when I really needed them.
Life works out pretty nicely sometimes.
I’ll do my best to be better, dear Reader. I’m leaning more and more into my creative side, so expect more fun posts like this — not just traditional storytelling.
Till next we meet,
Sarim
