Why Are People With Platforms Still Promoting Toxic Masculinity?
“Real men” have backwards opinions, apparently.
Another day, another pompous man’s bullshit. I simultaneously love and hate the internet sometimes.
Before I launch into a direct attack, let me spell out what the title means. “Toxic masculinity” is a label for the societally-constructed expectations of men to be emotionally closed off, physically intimidating, disrespectful to women, etc. As with the “real fan”, I refer you to the Urban Dictionary for specifics:
Now, let’s get to the arrogant, manlier-than-thou opinion cesspool who inspired this piece.
Ever heard of Piers Morgan? If not, don’t worry, I’ll save you the Google search. Piers Morgan is a journalist (as much as the word applies to one who works at the Daily Mail). He is also — and it pains me to say this — my fellow countryman. Yes, Piers is British. And if there’s one thing we Brits can export to the world like crazy, it’s great actors.
See, in my mind, Piers Morgan is actually a phenomenal actor. He goes about his public life, putting forward questionable views, parading around as an intelligent human being. It’s really intriguing to watch, considering he’s anything but.
Let’s take a look at his latest affront to common sense:
In case it wasn’t obvious, I take issue with this. Why exactly is it so wrong for a man to be openly sensitive? Why can a man not say that something is upsetting to him? Why can a man not talk about phenomena like love or beauty without being ridiculed? By attempting to insult men who are open with their emotions, Morgan is essentially saying “oh, real men conform to long-standing stereotypes established by people in the past who have been proven to have never had much of a clue about… anything, really”.
I’m not saying raging over-sensitivity is a good thing. Of course there’s a limit; no-one should be bawling their eyes out over every little inconvenience. The world requires one to be tougher than that. But there is no harm in being open about how you feel about something, be it through one’s actions or words. To say otherwise is to encourage the bottling of emotions and a lack of communication, both of which are mentally unhealthy.
And that’s the underlying issue here. It’s not my being “triggered”; Morgan’s opinion doesn’t mean a damn thing to me. But I felt the need to write this piece because Piers Morgan is, unfortunately, a man with a platform. He’s using that platform to give a backwards idea of a “real man” — to propagate toxic masculinity.
To help dispel the idea of men having to be unemotional caricatures, allow me — a man — to detail some emotional experiences of my own. To start, I went yesterday to see Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. The movie was phenomenal, and had a lot of moments in the final act that really tugged at the heartstrings. I was there with three friends — also men — who were as emotional as I was over certain events in the film.
I’m not saying we were bawling our eyes out over what we witnessed. But, with the combination of the emotional intensity of Guardians’ final act and our ability to relate to the heroes, we all had a couple streaks down our faces.
Just as we guffawed at the funny moments, we teared up at the sad moments. And you know what? I was honest about it. The result? I not only got a great looking Snap, I generated a good few conversations about the movie.
That’s just one example of normalised male sensitivity. I write poetry and share it with friends, occasionally even publishing pieces online. I’m honest with my friends about what I’m feeling if I need to be. I don’t let emotions bottle up. I’m there for my friends, giving tough love if that’s best, but also being as caring and open as I can when necessary.
The point? I feel.
And I’m still a man.
Two stupid tweets to go.
Okay first off, Prince Philip is your role model example? Really? The man behind such uber-‘manly’ quotes as “I don’t think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing,” and “When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife”? You call that ‘loyal’?
Loyalty to someone is supposed to bring respect for that person, no?
As for ‘PC-averse’, can’t argue with that one. The good Duke is no stranger to controversial jokes.
Let’s focus on that political correctness part of this tweet. With that word choice, Morgan is implying that men shouldn’t be PC. I’ll be the first to admit that political correctness can sometimes be overdone and go awry, but it’s far from an inherently bad thing. Its primary purpose is respecting others by consciously attempting to avoid offence; Piers darling, are you saying real men are disrespectful brutes?
If you’re viewing yourself as a “real man” here, then… Again, no argument.
All jokes aside, real men are capable of respect for others. K? K.
Let’s complete this trifecta of tribulations with the final timeline-triggering tweet.
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REALLY. Did you really just ask if James Bond was a real man.
Like… Really?
I don’t want to swear, but sometimes it’s necessary. Let me get this straight: to prove his point about so-called “real men”, Piers Morgan went from the example of an irrelevant Royal to a fictional man. The literal opposite of a real man.
I understand he’s referring to the personality traits 007 possesses, but still: we’re talking about real men. Men who exist in the world we live in. Not on the big screen. What relevance do the characteristics of an imaginary spy have in this argument?
At all?!
If this tweet is Morgan suggesting that “real men” should don the traits of James Bond, then that’s incredibly problematic. Not least because the spy has no place in this argument whatsoever, but also due to the fact that 007 is Ground Zero when it comes to toxic masculinity. A callous disregard for women (how many Bond girls have just gone and died or never been revisited?), an almost permanent silence in regards to emotions, and a penchant for solving every problem with a pistol?
No, Piers, James Bond is not a real man. He’s a badass by most metrics, but there is no way in hell any normal person would want to live that life.
Look, ultimately, I’m just trying to present what I feel is the better view of the issue, and say what I want people to believe. I may not change the minds of bigots now, but I may at least put forward ideas for the next generation to absorb from the start.
Assuming anybody reads this.
Stop placing expectations of stoic natures, callousness, and significant musculature on men. It’s wrong. It’s unnecessary. It’s idiotic.
I’m done. I have never unleashed so much British saltiness in one piece of work. I need to chill.
Till next we meet,
Sarim
