Six reasons to always buy organic

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Writing for the National Review, Julie Kelly recently attacked the organic industry by calling it a scam. Such an attack on their bottom line prompted a quick response from the Organic Trade Association. Executive director Laura Batcha called the article divisive, insisting that “People choose organic because they know it makes a difference”.

I couldn’t agree more. In fact here are 6 reasons why people should always buy organic food. Maybe Julie Kelly could learn a thing or two.

  1. Help support Hollywood start-ups.

Celebrities like Gwyneth Paltrow deserve a special niche to sell their psychic vampire repellant. Jessica Alba’s “Honest Company” would not be able to sell her mold contaminated baby wipes so easily without that organic label. By marketing her nuts as organic, Roseanne Barr can pretend she is a farmer while living out the rest of her years in Hawaii.

2. Higher grocery store prices help with trickle down economics.

Did you know that charging more for food is good for the economy? All of those extra inputs on the farm helps everyone from Exxon to the pesticide companies. Organic pays for so much extra labor that they even managed to get themselves exempt from a California law protecting farm workers!

3. Unlike hating vaccines, hating GMOs lets you hang out with the cool kids.

As long as Westerners are rich and well fed, why not create a whole industry to demonize modern agriculture? Who cares if Uganda needs technology to save their diseased bananas? The organic label lets you show the whole neighborhood that you are better than they are!

4. Antibiotics won’t be used to treat sick animals, which saves more for your chronic lyme treatments.

It is extremely important that antibiotics continue working so that we can keep treating our fake diseases. Cows are not worthy of humane care while they are alive, so they can just skip the medicine. Besides, what does Temple Grandin know about humane treatment of cattle anyways?

5. An organic diet is recommended by chiropractors everywhere.

How else can you keep your subluxation misalignments from leaking toxins? If you can afford to go to a fake doctor, you can definitely afford a much larger grocery bill.

6. Science is bad

Seriously. The scientific method was used to detonate nuclear weapons twice in Japan! If science is so safe, why is the government always hiding their secret chemtrail and fluoride mind control programs?

Hopefully Julie Kelly will learn from her mistake. She needs to get with the program like Laura Batcha. Kelly should get to writing articles trying to shame moms into buying more expensive food. Maybe Tom Philpott or Stepanie Strom can give her some writing tips.

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