Commitment to things I like

In the couple weeks I’ve done this blog, I realized a problem I’ve known for a while now, but one that becomes ever more prevalent.

I have a hard time committing to things.

It is tough for me to set my mind to things that don’t have deadlines. I’m the ultimate procrastinator. Even if it’s things I like to do, I usually postpone them for things that require even less effort.

I love to read. But reading is a task, especially reading books. What’s easier than reading? Watching TV.

I’m also at my happiest when I put effort into things, especially when it’s writing. When I’m fully expressing creativity as much as I can, especially when it doesn’t have a grade looming, I’m a much happier person.

It just doesn’t happen very often. And it’s something I’ve grown wary of. Struggling with anxiety has made me realize that lack of effort I put into things. I’ve been trying to retrain my mind, and as soon as I get to the point where I’m satisfied with the results, I stop, and the anxiety comes back.

This needs to change. If I can commit to that, it will pave the way for a lot of other things I can do. I’ll grow more of a focus to writing, and I’ll be able to do it more often. I’m optimistic I can do this.

I’ve never doubted my own ability to do things. That isn’t going to start now.