2015 Was A Year

2016 is the next one

2015 was a year that happened, and it isn’t quite done happening yet. The number signifies the number of years that have passed (2,015) since our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ was born. That is how years work.

But, actually, is it 2,015 years since He was born? When He was born was it year zero? Or year one? Oh great, now I am confused on what actual year it is. I would consider arguments for it being 2014, 2015, and 2016. Alas, I shall defer to the way in which we have all agreed to track the time on our tiny speck of dirt, hurtling through space for no apparent reason as we inch closer and closer to the time when our Sun runs out of fuel and turns into a Red Giant, expanding out past Earth’s orbit, which, surely, will vaporize everything on the planet rendering everything humans have ever done completely pointless and useless (NASA, you must figure out this space travel thing).

So 2015. Our current year; only hours are remaining. Some dumb stuff happened. Some cool stuff happened. But mostly dumb stuff, I think we can all agree.

2016 is but a few hours away. What will it hold for humanity? Most assuredly, we can count on some dumb stuff happening, but also some cool stuff too, I bet. What will it be, this dumb and cool stuff? Well, who can say? It hasn’t happened yet and I don’t think psychic mediums are real so no one can really know so do not say you do. That would make you a liar. Oh, you may get lucky by saying something like “sports will happen” or “January is the first month of 2016,” but nothing is for certain.

As we all wind down this year — which is 2015, to be followed by 2016, as mentioned above a few times — with football games, gathering in places, drinking various beverages, and crying silently to ourselves due to a whole host of horrendous personal issues, we can look back fondly at some of the more enjoyable aspects of 2015.

“What are these enjoyable aspects?” may be a question you would like to ask me. Don’t ask me that. Only you know which enjoyable aspects of 2015 you enjoyed. Our particular enjoyable aspects may be relatively similar, or maybe exactly the same, but I would never presume to assume other folks’ enjoyable aspects for the year 2015. And neither should you. Mind your business.

2016, what will you be? A year, certainly. But what else? All of us humans and animals await with anticipation and hope. But what is hope, really? Is it just a false facade we maintain to make life worth living? Is it one of our few remaining defenses against a cruel and seemingly pointless existence? Or is it a legitimate feeling to feel? Do we think humanity is really worthy of hope? That we can stop killing each other; stop being arrogant, willfully ignorant pricks who fail to give the slightest effort in seeing things from different perspectives? From outside our own tiny self-imposed bubble?

Using the entirety of human history as research for such questions will not lead to pleasant answers — unless you are a pathetic, fear-mongering butthead who rides the waves of manufactured alarm and terror; the phantoms and ghosts of eminent destruction of all that we hold dear. I guess those types of folks really like recorded human history. I don’t. And I mean, yeah, there is a lot of positive and noble things we do — or try to do — as a species, but…well, you know.

Back to 2015: some of my favorite moments of the year happened in the 12 months that are contained within this year. I won’t lay them out here because, again, I do not want to influence anyone’s favorite things of the year, seeing as we are all required by our computers and phones to compile such lists. YOU MUST SUBMIT YOUR ENTRIES ON OR BEFORE 11:59 PM TONIGHT IN YOUR SPECIFIC TIME ZONE OR YOU WILL BE STRAPPED TO THE NEXT ROCKET LEAVING EARTH AND LEFT TO FLOAT IN SPACE FOR ONE MINUTE BEFORE YOU DIE OR THEY MAY JUST SEND YOU TO THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN. IT MAY EVEN BE YOUR CHOICE BUT PLEASE JUST COMPLETE YOUR BEST OF 2015 LISTS SO WE CAN AVOID ALL OF THIS UNPLEASANTNESS.

I hope (there’s that word again) 2016 is a swell year for you and yours. I hope you have many resolutions you really, truly intend to keep. (For examples of such resolutions and how to keep them and various lists of the best ways to keep them, simply visit Medium dot com). As we get farther out from year zero, or year one, or year shut the hell up, we will continue the frivolous struggle against time, against disappearing resources, against the fuel left in the sun, and, especially, against each other.

May you surround yourself with as much technology, Twittering, faux outrage, meaningless arguments, selling out, and denigration as it takes to wake up and slog out the door to your job each morning in 2016.

And, as always, do so with a smile — forced as it may be — and the outward appearance of self-content. It goes without saying, but keeping all the dread and agony, brought on by existing in a world so absurd, inside and invisible to others is our greatest trick as humans. Never forget that. Especially in 2016.

HAPPY NEW YEAR