Internet Friends are Real Friends

Distributed teams and online teamwork

I’ve worked at a bus stop. I’ve worked on a plane. I’ve worked in the mountains. I’ve worked in the bay. I’ve worked on a Sunday. I’ve worked without pay. I’ve worked night. I’ve worked day. In office. In khakis. In hoodies. In footies. I’ve worked, worked, worked, worked, worked, and worked. And it’s always the same.

Work is about work. Work is about communication. Work is about connection.

We can all agree on that.

Here’s where we might differ. I don’t believe you need “butts in seats” to be world class or smash deadlines or deliver the best darned thing you can dream of.

I know you need communication.

Clear. Constant. Collaborative.

I know you need trust.

In your team. In your employees. In your leaders.

I also know you don’t need an office to accomplish it.

Face time is important. Seeing another human. Interacting. Reading faces. Sharing a coffee and a laugh. Sharing your frustration on that one bug that just wont squash or getting a pick me up when you’re feeling overwhelmed or unenergized.

I’ve been a part of team where our project manager was in Seattle our director and user experience design expert in Austin our development team in Hyderabad specialists in Waterloo and analysts in Ottawa new hires with internal clients in the UK and new hires in California.

But I don’t want to talk about work just yet.

I’m going to tell you about a couple of southern boys from Arkansas, an american stationed in Germany, and a modern viking from Massachusetts.

From a Vault of Glass to a Taken King and a Prison of Elders

In my spare time, I’ve been known as a gamer. Been a console (and PC, calm down you beasts) kid since the NES and I’ve spent quality time with my wife in both the physical world and the virtual world.

Online gaming brings together people of all kinds. The only filter most have is if you’re fun to play with. And that definition is different for everyone.

For me, it’s whether you follow this one basic rule:

“Don’t be a jerk”

You can get mad, we can argue, we can struggle through the hard parts. But we’re in this together. You’re on my team. And I’m on yours. Without us, we can’t win.

One of the games I play has an activity that only a minority have completed. It requires a well equipped team of six skilled players ready to dedicate 2–12 hours of their time to a singular goal. It requires a ballet of fixed positions and flanking. Attack and defend. Moments where everything hinges on one single person, or demands all 6 to work as one single unit. It’s our version of a Stanley cup match. Except it us against ourselves and our ability to plan well and execute flawlessly.

My wife and I each play, each kitted out to match our strengths. She a hunter, spec’d for speed, stealth, and massive damage. I prefer the close quarters wielding chaos in the heart of the storm.

We’ve been through it all and got the T-Shirt.

But we we’re struggling. Team after team. Things just didn’t click. Lack of communication. Lack of common ground. Lack of unity. We we’re beaten over and over again.

There are lots of games now that have end-game hard-mode content requiring hours of unflinching focus, teamwork, and communication to succeed.

Failing that hard and often is hard on a team. Lot’s of our teams didn’t stick around for long.

There was one night where we we’re left alone after one such defeat. My wife and I staring at a large locked door just after the slow cascade of transplants bailed.

Here we go again. Waiting for a new team to connect.

Then it happened. A pair of red blooded roommates from Arkansas connected. Then a gruff but sweet mountain of a human from Mass. And an an american in Germany who couldn’t sleep.

We were all in different time zones. Different countries. Different backgrounds.

But we shared one thing in common. We were gonna do this. And we were gonna get through it together.

Then we failed miserably on our first attempt.

No problem guys, we got this. We missed the ads on the right.
Yeah, that’s on me, ran out of ammo.
All Y’all ain’t jerks!
Frikken eh, you guys are nice!

Over the next 8 hours we slowly made our way through. Every time getting farther, figuring out the patterns, figuring out when to run and hide and when to rush and dive.

We figured out who worked best with who, and we stuck them together. We were leaders and followers both, dynamic, agile.

We would call out the basics for each other when things got overwhelming in the heat of battle.

“Reload!”, “Ready for next wave!”, “Bail! Bail! Bail!”, “We need backup”

We had to trust each other. We didn’t have time to worry about micromanagement.

We talked about our strengths and weaknesses openly and honestly.

We found ways to support each other.

We found ways to encourage each other.

And at the end of the night, we stood victorious. Polishing our new gear, and sharing a the audio sounds of each of us having a beer over the VoIP headsets.

It’s about communication, trust, and not being a jerk.

Internet friends are human friends on the internet

When you’re working with a virtual team, you have to remember they’re still humans on the other end of the line. Which means, you still need to do human things to make it work.

You need to goof off sometimes. You need to vent. You need to be an ear who listens. You need to whisper. You need to cheer.

I still play with those wonderful humans from the internet. I’ve even met a few face to face and finally gotten to give them a hug a few years in the making.

Internet friends are real friends. And remote teams are real teams.

Work doesn’t happen inside a box. It happens everywhere.

To work remote, all you really gotta do… is work.

And that’s about discipline.

Discipline and Trust

The way I like to work is results oriented. I like knowing what needs to be done, and when it needs to be done. Then driving towards that goal working in the open with as much communication as is helpful.

Working with a remote team requires clear understanding of what is important, and how people are doing. Encouraging early feedback and open dialog is critical.

But this kind of work also requires trust

“where the heck is everybody?”, “are they goofing off?”, “are they being productive?”

If you’re asking these questions, you’re going to have a bad time with remote work.

I got through life so far with a “trust but verify” mentality.

If you tell me you’ve got it covered and it’ll be done in a few days. I trust that you’ve got your world in order. But I verify that everything is going well along the way, and am ready to provide help or direction at the earliest signs.

When you’re working remote, you have to pay extra attention to maintaining and managing relationships. After all, everyone tends to read text in their own voice.

Change is constant

Being sensitive to change, and knowing change is a constant and thus planning for it is a core skill working in remote team.

That comes down to finding effective ways to organize the thrash that goes on in a remote teams communication.

Words disappear into the air when you say them aloud. If we had a transcript of everything it would be a fire hose of information.

Its the same thing on work chats. No matter how organized your slack channels are, with enough people. It’s gets loud.

To help tame the noise, you need to regularly digest the best bits and share them in retrospectives or summaries that help catch people up.

Sometimes you can’t stay on top of all the conversations, so it helps having a reliable place to go over your wins, challenges, and current focus.

Every team will have to figure out what works for them, because every team is built of humans and each group of those acts uniquely.

Let’s Recap

There’s a bunch of text above. I’m going to end this post by doing what I’m asking you to do.

To be an awesome remote team you need to:

- Work with passion and work towards a common clear goal

- Communicate often, early, openly, and politely

- Take criticisms/disagreements to a private channel

- Trust your colleagues to do good work on time

- Be open and honest about your strengths and weaknesses

- Find out how best to communicate with each human, because we’re all different

- Verify the state of your humans (check in, and check out together)

- Be ready for change, and plan for it as a team

- Organize and digest communication, share back helpful summaries

- Don’t be a jerk (and if you encounter them… beat ’em with kindness)

My office exists where I have an internet signal and a laptop.

And it’s ready 24/7.

Until next time, I’ll be out there in the remote.

Weasel.out()