Aziz Ansari is Guilty Because He Violated The Five Basics of Consent
Men in entertainment, media, and politics, have been falling in line at rapid pace with the sexual assault allegations that have been brought to light, like President Donald Trump, Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, Matt Lauer, Nick Carter, Ben Affleck, Ray Moore, and that does not even complete the list, but now there has been one more high-profile man to complete the list: Aziz Ansari.
Aziz Ansari is renown for his role as Tom Haverford on Parks and Recreation, the creator and star character in his Netflix show, Master of None, and he penned his first book, Modern Romance: An Investigation, which dissects the struggles of modern romance supported with sociological research perspectives.
I recommend that if you have not had a chance to read Babe.net’s account of the mystery woman’s date with Aziz Ansari (“Grace” is the name of the women who is referred to), I would suggest you do so. Here is the link: https://babe.net/2018/01/13/aziz-ansari-28355
Essentially, “Grace” and Aziz Ansari met each other at the 2017 Emmy Awards after-party, and after bonding over cameras, they exchanged numbers, exchanged flirtatious texts for a while before Ansari decided to ask her out on a dinner date. Once the dinner date, whom Grace suggested that Ansari seemed to rush the date, went back to his apartment. It was upon going to his apartment that Grace fielded Ansari’s sexual advances in various ways by expressing both verbal and non-verbal cues, and Ansari seemed to engage her in a game of cat-and-mouse, regardless.
According to Planned Parenthood, the basics of consent is freely given, enthusiastic, specific, informed, and reversible. Aziz Ansari violated every basic of consent in the following ways:
Freely given — Consenting is a choice you make without pressure, manipulation, or under the influence of drugs and alcohol. She hesitated answering Ansari when he asked where she would like him to fuck her. She kept moving away from him and he kept following her around. She turned away when he tried to force his fingers into her while they were watching an episode of Seinfeld. She even got up from the couch at the end of the date and said that she would call herself a cab and get going. She openly expressed her disinterest in partaking in sexual activities with him, both with her body and with her words. When he asked her to go down on him while they were sitting on the floor next to the couch, she did it reluctantly due to the pressure seh felt.
Enthusiastic — When it comes to sex, you should only do stuff you WANT to do, not things that you feel you’re expected to do. Even when Ansari would take Grace’s hand and put it on his penis, she moved his hand away from him several times. She expressed her refusal in verbal and non-verbal cues, by pulling away, murmuring her discomfort, body parts ceased to move. He was pantomiming intercourse in front of a mirror and she obviously wasn’t showing any interest.
Specific — Saying yes to one thing (like going to the bedroom to make out) doesn’t mean you’ve said yes to others (like having sex). Once he invited her to take a seat at the counter, it wasn’t too long before he started kissing her, touching her breast, taking his clothes off, and grabbing a condom. Just because she complimented his countertops that were made of marble and accepted his invitation to sit, doesn’t mean that she wanted to partake in any sexual activities, and at the speed he was at..At another point, when Ansari suggested for them to just relax over on the couch, he demanded for her to turn around and made a motion with his hands for her to perform oral sex on him. She thought the sexual encounter was over, and she was under the impression he would try to calm her down.
Informed — You can only consent to something if you have the full story. For example, if someone says they’ll use a condom and then they don’t, there isn’t full consent. Grace told Ansari that she did want to feel coerced, and Ansari agreed and said that it would only be enjoyable if they were both enjoying themselves, but then once he suggested that they chill on the couch, he pressured her into performing oral sex on him.
Reversible — Anyone can change their mind about what they feel like doing, anytime. Even if you’ve done it before, and even if you’re both naked in bed. She stood up after he had bent her over in front of the mirror and said, “No, I don’t think I’m ready for this, I really don’t think I’m going to do this.” He made out with her again after he pulled her back up onto the couch and said, “Doesn’t look like you hate me.” Just because you make out with someone does not mean that you are willing to do it again.
Grace’s consent was NOT freely given, enthusiastic, specific, informed and reversible. Therefore, without consent, Grace was sexually assaulted, and there is no doubt about that. These five factors make up consent, and Aziz Ansari’s conduct that night violated each of the factors that make up Grace’s consent. It’s important that sexually active people know what consent is and what defines consent, so that we can learn to respect our sexual partners and avoid being deemed as violators.
