Your Network is Your Net Worth
Networking. To be frank, it’s a stock word, and, for many entrepreneurs and executives, it conjures up images of cold-calling (or InMailing), awkward small talk at conferences, elevator pitches, and lots and LOTS of coffee. Caffeinated conversations that are all too often rife with selfish agendas.
Let’s face it: some of us are great at small talk and some of us like to get right to the punch. Some of us love prospecting — we enjoy the thrill of the hunt. While others find their rhythm when they’re closing deals and winning pitches. And some people just don’t like any of it — they view it as a cost of doing business and would prefer to not put themselves out there.
The first rule of networking is you don’t use the word “networking.”
Before we go further, let’s agree on something. The first rule of networking is not using the word “networking,” at least out loud. Let’s call it something else (though I’ll continue to use the term here for clarity). Meeting interesting people, starting and strengthening friendships, spreading knowledge, sharing stories. Relating to people without an agenda, because people know when you’re just looking to use them and don’t actually care. People can smell a sales pitch a mile away. So stop selling. Start sharing. You must give. Whether it’s free advice, making a connection for someone or creating content that helps the people you care for the most.
If someone knows who you are, it’s much easier to get their attention when it comes to what you do.
Perhaps the word “networking” strikes the wrong chord because it sounds so commercial, when in fact it’s quite personal. Ultimately, all businesses, organizations and causes are led be people. People like you and me. Humans with tribal instincts. Humans in need of love, validation, help and support. My guess is you’re looking to build your network to get some of these benefits. Now imagine everyone you’re trying to meet and develop relationships with. They are taking the time to talk with you for the very same reason. Don’t forget that it’s not about you! People work for and with people they like and love, which is earned. It’s why ad agencies lose accounts when the Marketing Director feels more connected to the ECD or AE or whomever else is their true “friend” in the agency and proceeds to move their work where that person goes. It’s why pitches and proposals are more easily won when there are relationships underpinning the effort. If someone knows who you are, it’s much easier to get their attention when it comes to what you do.
Let’s take a step back now. I think we’ve established the “why,” so let’s talk a little bit about the “how.”
I know firsthand how difficult it is to visualize what an impact relationship building can have on your personal and professional life. Think of networking like you would think of saving. It takes discipline, deposits and determination to reach your goal. Building savings requires both vision and action, knowing that depositing more than you withdraw is the fundamental way to succeed. It takes constant and consistent effort, just like it takes constant and consistent effort to build a strong group of friends, confidents and advocates around you and your cause.
It requires confidence that the incremental investments (time primarily, and coffee) are going to be worth it. Until you get your first return on your “investment” it almost isn’t real. But when that phone rings or you get a LinkedIn message with an opportunity from a friend of a friend, it’s incredibly validating and suddenly there is a realization that occurs: your network can (and will) eventually open numerous doors you can’t even imagine at this moment. The key is focusing not on quantity, but quality. I’ll take a network of 10 quality relationships over 100 acquaintances any day, wouldn’t you?
It’s like compounded interest — there’s a snowball effect you can tap into. It just takes a lot of work to get the snowball rollin’.
I get it. Networking is hard. That’s good. Unless you’re a Kardashian, you’ve gotta work at it. Your efforts will only multiply as time ticks on. It’s like compounding interest — there’s a snowball effect you will tap into. It just takes a lot of work to get the snowball rollin’. The more it rolls the more you’ll see a return on your time spent making “relational deposits.” It will get to the point where you can even enjoy inherited credibility. People will see and hear about your relationships, especially if they are strong. And if someone they trust also trusts in you, it will give you a head start and a sturdy foundation to build from.
It will get to the point where you can enjoy inherited credibility.
When it comes right down to it: life is short. We want to spend our time, personally and professionally, with people we like, people that are there for us, people that care about us. Building relationships requires you to be available and open to helping others. In the words of the Great Teacher, Jesus Christ, “Give, and it will be given to you.” — Luke 6:38
Written by Robby Berthume for Bull & Beard and published on October 1, 2015 on LinkedIn Pulse. Re-published and adapted on and for Medium on May 11, 2016. Contact me by clicking here.
