The New Unicorn Party of Britain

What is this Brexit you speak of?

On a Friday not too long ago, in a land not too far away for anyone who’s heard of David Bowie, Led Zeppelin, Adele and David Attenborough…in a not-too-distant parallel universe to the States, and to the utter surprise of many inquisitive minds that know something or other about Princess Diana and The Royal Family (whose latest princess is beautiful ex-lingerie model Kate Middleton)…a Brexit happened. The United Kingdom became the first country to vote itself out of the EU.

It created a tear in the universe as Google UK recorded a magnificent number of top searches for “What is the EU?”, “What happens if we leave the EU?” and “What countries are in the EU?” all made after the votes were cast, suggesting that many were in fact unaware of the key facts behind their decision, whereby 51.9% voted Leave and 48.1% voted Remain. I and many others who have ties to the UK or hold a British passport were speechless and in shock for hours, knowing that 77% of Britons who could have voted actually got their asses into gear and said their peace. As a tiny, yet futile reprise: London which contributes 22% of the country’s GDP voted overwhelmingly to stay.

How did this all happen in the first place? If Grandma’s mind was filled with the good old days of fresh pots of tea with three little pink cookies on the side; and was yearning hard enough that SHE went out to vote, where were all the young folk that day? Could it be that far too many of the younger generation were face-planted on their smartphones and didn’t truly realise what was going on and what was at stake?

Up to 73% of younger voters voted to remain, but as low as only 4% of total eligible voters under 24 years old bothered to turn up. At Glastonbury Festival maybe? In Ibiza or some other British hotspot in the EU?

This post will not get into the kerfuffle of stats, nor will it try to delve into others’ political machinations and divinations. I am still just shaking my head in disbelief and flabbergasted by the irony of it all.

Where the fuck were the millennials before it all went down is what I’d like to know. With endless swipes, tweets and double blue checks all day, you’d think more of them would show up and now they will likely want a do-over. Maybe, it’s time for a new party, like a party where people actually enjoy themselves without being subjected to Eurovision tracks or scones and tea. (Yes, I must say I lost it when I realised that some voted ‘Leave’ as a joke, or because Britain never won Eurovision. It seems many hadn’t realised that their beloved wines and teas are cheap, in part, due to trade agreements with the EU).

The Land of Greenwich MEAN Time

Whether or not the UK manages to extricate themselves out of the EU is another matter entirely. Many say not much will change; it is still after all the land of GMT by which the world sets its time. Yet the final tally results speak volumes about what’s going on within a country that has ‘United’ in the name but perhaps never really has been. Within hours they literally ran out of Irish passports due to demand. There are talks of Scotland, which voted remain, wanting another shot at independence. Dormant racism is showing its hideous face. Hysterical lies about immigration and abject ignorance is fuelling violence in several communities. It has even surfaced that untrue warnings about Turkey joining the EU and thus unleashing 70,0000 immigrants into UK soil was, in fact, one of the key lies in the rhetoric that fanned the patriotic flames of the not-all-there-in-the-head extremist ‘leavers’.

I don’t know if it’s my hopeless optimism but I have this nagging feeling that from these ashes there will arise a new movement. A phoenix if you like, or wait, maybe it’s a Unicorn.

Factions have risen with the #NotMyVote thing on Twitter. I have a love-hate relationship with London but, I like many, kept neurotically calm and carried on the hashtag #NotMyVote to express sorrow and to disassociate myself from the majority who ticked “leave” instead of “remain.” Others have started to fly the flag that London, one of the world’s most international cities, should become independent.

3.2 million…
800,000…
600,000…
60,000…

I can’t get these numbers out of my head. The thing is, at time of writing, 3,197,000 people are demanding a second referendum using the UK Parliament Petition website (which only needs 100,000 to trigger a debate).

London is home to a significant number of young people who now feel deeply wronged by the Baby Boomers who voted ‘Leave’ and it is the hub where many millennials actually understand hashtags, digital engagement and advocate enablement with news beyond a disgraceful ‘newspaper’ called The Sun.

The slowly rising Silicon Valley heart of Europe — TechUK — pledge to London as their postcode for I.T, skillset and infrastructure reasons. 900 companies are members of TechUK. Collectively they employ more than 800,000 people, about half of all tech sector jobs in the UK.

More than 600,000 companies were formed in the UK in 2016. This represents a massive throng of people taking hold of their own destinies, becoming entrepreneurs and startups.

Much as the US has the Democrats and the Republicans and a few other parties that diffuse a population, the UK has the Tories and Labor. Coalitions aside, there is also The Green Party which has 60,000 members (much more than UKIP’s 45,000).

I am neither a political analyst, archivist, anarchist or mathematician. I do have correlation as my only teeny tiny mathematical skill. My love for numbers (not spreadsheets) fuels my thoughts and blogified rants. But come with me on a journey if you will. Imagine if they, the current noisy trending crowd of enthused digital anarchists, decide to start a coalition party with the Greens – Patched in and Powered by TechUK – then maybe…

All empires fall, this is true, but with the embarrassing and globally public fall of the empire comes a wakeup call that really puts the Boston Tea Party well behind us. After 7 years of living in London and conducting workshops across the UK, I can tell you from direct experience that the British still do (did) believe they won World War II. But maybe, in hindsight, it was just those who voted ‘Leave’.

It may very well be that this Brexit thing was part of a bonkers plan to shut up the socialists. Its backfiring bonfires all over the nation have a new name that hasn’t quite caught on: “Regrexit”. Ouch. No one wants Brexit to be that fucking novel that has the gut-wrenching ugliness ala ‘Lord of the Flies’ and ‘Animal Farm’, if only to end up with the futility of ‘Trainspotting’. I would hate for David Attenborough to be alive long enough to do a Tilda Swinton ‘Galapagos’ take on Britain, its evolution and what it used to be.

Fiction aside…

The impassioned millions who are online at the moment can actually make a difference. A unicorn, in the world of business, is a company, usually a start-up that does not have an established performance record, with a stock market valuation or estimated valuation of more than $1 billion. Last I checked, the UK has over €26.1 billion in annual export sales to the EU alone.

By the end of this chapter, or at least well before the 2-year transitionary period where the EU divorce terms are drawn (that is if Article 50 ever even gets invoked and the Leave-Remain Referendum even gets accepted), someone else should pay attention to the numbers.

It’s a shame I’m just a marketing person, other times called a digital native, jafa, expat, immigrant, Londoner, vj and many other names. Meanwhile, Grandma, Grandpa and that slightly creepy Uncle with the train set in the basement have unleashed havoc on my world with one sad tick.

Singapore, Taiwan, Hong Kong, London. I’m just saying.