The right partner
Since October, I have been attending a school in Paris to study french. As usual, interesting things happens between and after class. I hadn’t expect anything different, except that there would be less drama. I thought we are all a little bit older and more grounded now. Funny, right? I really don’t know why I expected something like this, after all, age is just a number and we are all humans. Therefore it is not uncommon there would be party, love, sex and drama. I saw how people changed their partner (for whatever reason) almost every second day and there are others who try to keep this kind of love that they have found, although they will be apart from each other after only a few weeks or months.
But why?
Why are we doing this to ourselves? Both of them can end up in tears and drama. Why are some of us looking so desperately for a partner? Why are some of us changing partners more often than socks? And why are some of us in a kind of relationship but don’t want to take the responsibility of a real relationship? Who is actually your right partner? I will talk about this and more in my blog post today.
Fear
I think the reason why there are some who tend to change their partner as much as possible and there are others who try to stay with someone but without the responsibility, is actually the same. It’s the fear of being and staying alone.
It’s just ridiculous to think that those people will stay forever alone. Obviously they are able to get in contact with others and are not introverts. So if there is a slight chance, then it is exactly because of this behaviour that they will stay alone. I mean who wants to be together with someone who losses the attention for them within a few minutes. Nobody will ever believe that you want something long term, even if you say that, there is no reason for it. There is no value in your words if your actions say something else. Same if you are in a kind of relationship but there is nothing more than sex. Your partner won’t believe one word if you say you have changed your mind, that you are interested in more, as long as you are not showing it.
Everything is alright
It’s really okay to be single. Relax, you won’t die because of it.Everyone agrees to that and still they are running like chickens behind them. “But I am ready for a family now, all my friends are having children, I am getting old,” this is what I have heard from more than one friend after I have asked them why they are looking so desperately for a guy. They want to care for a partner, child or anything else, except themselves. These are the people who will realise at 40 that they never had the chance to achieve and do what they wanted to. And now it is to late, and because of several reasons, they will have a mid-life crisis.
Who is it?
So who is the perfect partner for you? I think it is somebody with similar ideas and goals. Somebody who wants to built a empire together with you. That does not mean you have to create a family immediately. You two should be able to create long term goals together, but you should still be able to create long term goals for yourself, this shouldn’t be a problem at all. I believe if you look for a good partner or a healthy relationship, you should work as hard as possible on yourself. Only if both of you are constantly trying this, can it be a success. This, of course, is only my opinion.
Don’t misunderstand this, I will never ask you to change yourself for somebody. Stay as true to yourself as possible. If you really like someone and are willing to change yourself only for them, it will end up in tears, I promise. There will come a time when you will feel so comfortable around him, you will start to show the real you and there is a chance he won’t like you, the real you. Superficial? No, not at all. He fell in love with the other you, the “you” you pretended to be, in the moment you started to be yourself, the fake you died and so did the person he fell in love with. If you already knew that he isn’t interested in someone like you, move on and don’t try to force something that isn’t meant to be. I think there are too many who throw themselves into romance because they’re afraid of staying single, and start to make compromises, losing their identity. Don’t do that! Change yourself, but for yourself and no one else!
Yin and yang
Every time I end up with someone who was way different than me, I started to tell myself it could be yin and yang. But that’s not very useful, to start to believe in theories only to distract yourself from how different your interests are. Of course your partner can’t be someone who is exactly like you, yet it is more than helpful for a relationship to have similar passions.
Follow your own way
I think the best way for us would be if we set short, mid and long term goals for ourselves. Goals which are not depending on someone else, goals which are 100% for yourself. Do everything for these goals, you are doing it for yourself. Don’t look for someone. The nearer you get to your long term goals the higher will be the chance that there will be somebody who shares the same interests as you.
Stay single until someone actually compliments your life in a way that it makes it better to not be single. If not, it’s not worth it. — unknown
Thanks for reading ! What’s your opinion to it? If you liked it or want that somebody else read this, please share it or leave a comment, it would mean a lot to me! In case you don’t agree, please leave a comment as well, it would be interesting to hear your opinion. :)
Anyway, thank you very much !
Jason
Jason is the founder of The Millennials. Get connected with him through Facebook and Instagram. Click here to read more from him. :)
