Appreciate the Value of Military Spouses

Note:
I talk about women in this article, as 93% of military spouses are women, but the comments are equally applicable to all military spouses — male or female. Please replace “he” for “she” in the content below, as appropriate. The sentiment remains the same. This piece is also “Army-centric” as the Army is what I know, but I am sure the concept is applicable across all branches of the military.

Americans celebrate a lot of appreciation days, sibling appreciation, pet appreciation, grandparent appreciation, teacher appreciation, etc… you get the idea. And the subject of every single one of these days really and truly deserves it, especially that last one!

On Military Spouse Appreciation day I am reflecting on the word “appreciate”. It means to “be grateful or thankful for”. I am so grateful, and so thankful, for the military spouses in my inner circle. Over the last 12 years these spouses have truly been, “my village”. There is a bond and an understanding among us. Most of us are removed from our families, but this community, these spouses, they do more then fill the gap, they become “framily”.

I don’t just “appreciate” this community of spouses. That word just doesn’t seem quite right to me. It is not enough. I VALUE them. Value means “worth or usefulness”. I place VALUE on their time, their effort, their skills, and their sacrifices. I know that their time and skills are a commodity to be respected.

Value the NCO spouse — just like the NCO, she makes up the backbone of the Army. She sits in the sweet spot, in that she has years of experience, but can still relate to the challenges faced by Soldiers and their families. Her time comes with unmatched knowledge.

Value the senior spouse — she has seen 15 years of war. Recognize that she is an advisor and that much of what she does will never be recognized by those around her. Like the current of a river she is often unnoticed, but keeps things moving forward.

Value the junior enlisted spouse — she is new and just trying to figure this life out. She often feels out of the loop and braces herself for constant change. She is resourceful and has a fresh outlook. She comes with a unique background and skill set. Bring her into the fold. She has much to offer.

Value your junior officer spouse — she has been thrown into a role she may or may not be prepared for. She often arrives on the scene just in time to get “volun-told” about her new role. Be patient with her and value her dedication.

I think it is time we challenge military spouses to do more than just appreciate other spouses. We need to truly value each other. We need to place greater worth on our fellow spouses and how they choose to use their most precious commodity: time.

How we value our fellow spouses is shown through our support. Support those spouses that are in a season of volunteering, support those spouses that are in a season of working, support those spouses that are in a season of drowning in small children or challenging teens. Support those spouses who have made the decision to step back and fully focus on their family. Show support to those who are hammering a square peg into a round hole by trying to make a career or start a business in the midst of military life.

Maybe I am missing the point of Military Spouse Appreciation day. Perhaps it was designed for people outside the community to show support. But how can we expect the civilian community to value us if we don’t value ourselves? We need to show support to the entire community of military spouses, regardless of the path they are on today. Each is deserving of our praise — Not just on Military Spouse Appreciation Day, but everyday.