Lets talk about Grief

By: Dr Chloe Paidoussis-Mitchell, Cpsychol | www.dr-chloe.com |Grief Psychologist

So much has been written about grief. What’s important for you to hold on to today is this: Grief is your psychological response to the death of loved one and the journey you go on is personal.

It is completely normal to feel like your world no longer makes sense and for your feelings to vary rather a lot. For example, you may feel anger, sadness, despair, rage, anxiety, guilt and fear. Other times you may feel grateful for your life and your love for people may feel deeper and you may still have pockets of joy in your day. Everybody has their unique response to grief and it is important to recognize that overall you will need time to feel a sense of normal in your self again. Acceptance and self-compassion will really help you to heal.

Grief comes in waves and bottling it up won’t help. Give yourself space to grieve and let your feelings out. Do not isolate yourself. Keep to some daily routine and make sure you do not give up on your essential basic care. Eat well. Sleep. Make sure you do some gentle exercise everyday and reach out to people who have empathy for you. Raising your body’s natural anti-depressants (endorphins and serotonin levels) with a good walk outdoors, gardening, or a daily grounding meditation and mindfulness exercise also really helps to buffer the devastating sadness you are living with.

Accept that your grief will take its time and with the appropriate care and support you will feel better. Look after you and invest in your wellbeing. If your grief feels like it is turning into Major Depression get professional help. As a Grief Psychologist I regularly help people overcome their grief and the message is hopeful. You can do this! Do not leave it for months.

Signs that you may have Major Depression are that your relationships are breaking down, you are not eating properly, you are drinking too much, you feel destructive rage, you find it difficult to cope with your day, you are frightened of the intensity of your emotions, you worry for your safety and you feel like staying in bed for weeks on end.

Grief requires you to go into it, in order, to process it and move forward. If it starts to overwhelm you and disrupt your life, reach out. Your wellbeing matters!