Date Night

At 55 years old and divorced,Jack knew he was on the downhill side of the slope and slipping .The prospect of being on his own for the rest of his life was a little daunting.

He hadn’t met the Minister yet nor was he aware of that coterie of 50 something single women who gathered around her to carefully orchestrate the social life into which he was soon to be drawn.

He was not aware of the concept of ‘a connection’,

‘keepers and players’ ,‘meant to be’, the notion of ‘a man with a plan’ and the

phenomenon of ‘cutting your lunch’and other sobriquets of the secret women’s business of managing relationships.

That would all become clear later.

But he had met the Minister’s sister through a mutual acquaintance.

She was an artist who took inspiration from the Riverina farm they had grown up on. Weathered timber rusted iron and sheep were her main motifs and sex where she could fit it in.The complicated courtship of a ram and ewe was the subject of one painting .

She and her sister had spent a good time managing it after their mother had died followed closely by their father .Of late they had sold off the prime acreage to a wealthy Sydney cousin and that allowed both women to buy houses in trendy suburbs and embark on lives in a new city mixing in arty circles, smoking a bit of dope at parties and aligning themselves with the tree hugging greenies and the ABC loving labour lefties generally.

The dispossesion of aborigines from their land being the basis of their wealth and the sina qua non of their current liberal lifestyle largely escaped both sisters.The unofficial coterie of women friends were also making a fist of things on their own but without the benefit of 10,000 acres of prime Riverina land although some had had divorce settlements to kickstart their 11th hour push for independence to which they felt perfectly entitled having earned it by various means and some hardships.

One of these was having a party to celebrate her going away.She was in fact absconding with her lover , a new love a new city a blank canvas though not one to be rendered so recklessly blindly or innocently as in their youth.

She was moving to Sydney to be with her new beau A Green.A Green had previously been in a relationship with the Minister for No Fun .It was clear that the Minister was still aggrieved by this turn of events

and felt that her friend had “cut her lunch.” It is a code of the sisterhood that one does not pursue a friend’s former lover even if they have broken up ,even if quite publicly and quite a while ago. It would appear that the Minister was hanging onto the past doggedly refusing to let go. The last time she had hung on doggedly was to that stockbroker bloke who turned out to be a real player shagging her sister among other associates adding insult to injury although this transgression probably said less about him than it did of the Minister’s sister. She was one of those women who believed that this was the quickest way to get to know bloke though her spinsterhood at 50 suggested it might not be the best way to hang onto one .She was proudly unmarried but not so proud of never having been asked.

It had cost the Minister that equanimity which had previously seen off gluts and droughts ,booms and blights up on the land without batting an eyelid.

For a while she was a blithering mess running around like a chicken with its head off calling him every name under the sun repeatedly “what a bastard ,what a loser “, “what a real see you next Tuesday !“.

It was never made clear what was special about next Tuesday or any Tuesday for that matter until the puzzle was solved .

Kev McC another loose associate had invented the acronym to avoid referencing the female form explicitly .

This item of Old English slang was unofficially prohibited in the Ministers company.Kev is a club man used to rules and workarounds but don’t be fooled the offence was still ingrained under that thin veil of well oiled diplomacy.

But a party even one hosted by the enemy is still an opportunity to branch out. It was clear that the Minister and her sister and quite possibly E Rowling had hatched the plan. It seemed to have their influence all over it

and Jack was on their radar. He was after all something of a catch.

They had carefully weighed all his baggage including his ex which they recognized from past experience to be a force not to be underestimated . The Minister knew from long experience on the land what city girls seem not to understand that nothing is perfect and that one needs to work with the materials and opportunities at hand. The Minister was introduced .And as soon as she was alone with Jack the others having strategically sidled off,they chatted for a bit until she asked if Jack might like to dance. “Why don’t you invite me out? “she asked after jiving for a while on the lounge room floor .

It used to be the prerogative of the male to make the first move but times had changed.

If no one else is taking the initiative (and they weren,t )then I might as well take it myself was the Ministers rationale.

As judged from the gyrations on the floor by the Minister’s small band of female advisors who were skilled in the nuances of body language and had kept a close watch it was not possible to read the play conclusively.

But Jack thought he should start somewhere even if the prospects did not seem too promising. He offered to call her. He waited two days in order not to seem too keen. That was one piece of advice he had gotten from more experienced hands. Don’t come across as too needy.

The Minister as it happened had quite a busy schedule(it pays to appear in demand in the dating game) but he managed to fit into it an early evening movie session and had in mind a little Japanese restaurant nearby for supper afterwards. They met in the foyer of the Kino. The Minister held back momentarily at the ticket counter but did offer to pay for her ticket after Jack had purchased it. It was a gesture both of independence and equity whose disingenuousness Jack would come to understand later.

As they took their seats and the movie started it gradually became clear that they were the only ones present in the theatre which seemed odd.The Minister may have thought that perhaps Jack had arranged a private viewing but by the time the movie was over it was clear why it was so under subscribed. A rustling in the seat behind revealed one other person had been present.

Perhaps she had come in a little later after the lights had gone down. Jack glanced back at her as the credits rolled. She said ,“just as well I didn’t have to pay for my ticket”,raising her eyebrows in a gesture of relief at a mishap averted.She had got hers as a promotion of some sort apparently. The Minister was silent but her demeanor seem to align with the strangers that luckily she had not wasted her money either. She thought to herself who goes to a movie where the only other person there got a free ticket. Maybe Jack got his tickets for free too.She was starting to think of retreat.That’s how quickly the tables can turn in the dating game.

She had an escape strategy that every sensible girl should have when venturing abroad. The Minister’s hackles were starting to rise propelled by the overtones of loser that she was getting wind of . Was it fight or flight she wasn’t sure but was ready for either.

It’s like that in the country. You have to be ready for all eventualities.

The matter of the movie was not mentioned again .

The atmosphere now became noticeably tense when previously it had been awkward but with some willingness to concede.

The Minister had adopted a position.

“Oh well “Jack thought, “I’ll put that down to experience. I’m just an amateur at this game “

“Who is this time waster?” the Minister was thinking ,“what a loser “

“Try not to seem too needy”, Jack thought.

So at Jack’s suggestion they went off to the nearby Japanese restaurant. It was accessed off a cobblestone laneway with a steel door in a wall flush with the lane way.

There was a very inconspicuous sign in Japanese characters that gave no clue to what it was unless you had aforeknowledge.

It had an air of mystique about it. In the basement the restaurant was dimly lit a good place to begin a seduction,Jack noted. Japanese waitresses shuffled geisha -like around the guests taking orders and delivering food and drink making themselves scarce when their service was not required.

The two attempted to break the ice but the conversation stumbled from one awkward question to the next. Somehow the magic wasn’t there. One question provoking another which is a tried-and-true method of the divulging nothing and so the evening progressed.Jack was soon to learn that nothing at the Ministry for No Fun is left to chance.

Acts of God were of course excepted as part of the package

and acts of bastardry too, because even the best laid plans could go astray, the former tending to come out of the blue ,the latter one needed to keep a constant look out for.

The supper over, the small matter of the bill intruded itself awkwardly. Jack being a novice at this dating game was quick to offer to pay, an act of chivalry that his mother would have approved. The Minister hesitated seeming to weigh up things as if deciding on the what was a fair price and then suggested they split the bill 50–50.

Jack well knew from the drawn out and bitter experience of divorce that there was something universally fair and just about 50–50 although his wife’s lawyer had succeeded in extracting an extra pound of flesh by way of retribution.

Then suddenly the Minister changed her mind which is traditionally a woman’s privilege. She would accept his offer.

“Fuck it “she thought to herself ,”I’ve given up my evening , let the mug pay. He can afford it.”

As they left the restaurant a certain cordiality reappeared. The Minister indicated that she had a work appointment at the ABC ,a scheduled interview with a womens rights activist in Africa.

They kissed European style a gesture devoid of affection on this occasion. She said , lying through her teeth in order to escape with her dignity intact “It was fun Jack ,we must do it again sometime “

Jack playing along with the’ keeping up appearances’ game agreed .

But truly he began to think that being on his own might not be such an awful prospect after all.