How to Sculpt Your Abs Just in Time to Get Dragged Off a Plane

How embarrassing!

We’ve all been there: You’re getting roughed up by airport security for refusing to get bumped, and you look hot! Your glasses are coyly askew and your cheeks are a sexy shade of rouge, but just when you’re being dragged down the aisle suddenly your shirt rides up and (record skip) everyone can see your stomach and it is GROSS AND FLABBY! Talk about a PR nightmare… for your abs!

Don’t get caught with your shirt up. Here are 3 hot tips to get your tummy camera-ready for a viral video of you being violently ejected from your next flight!

1. Crunch it up! Bicycle crunches, reverse crunches, side crunches, russian twists… you’ve got to work the whole core if you want those CNN anchors talking about your rock-hard chocolate bar instead of United Airlines stock prices!
2. Eat healthy. You might have strong core muscles from all those crunches, but you won’t look like it if you’re not also fueling your body with real food. Remember, that video is going to be grainy and pixelated by the time it hits every TV in the country, so you’re going to need SOLID definition on that washboard before it gets paraded down the catwalk.
3. When all else fails, FLEX! If your rectus abdominis aren’t exactly bulging out of your gut by the time you’re physically wrenched from your seat, just grit your teeth and flex those suckers hard! It’s no substitute for regular exercise and a healthy diet, but hey, at least you won’t look like a total slob who didn’t even train for his moment in the spotlight!

That’s more like it!