MTA Considers Abandoning “If You See Something, Let Us Take An Unflattering Photo Of You” Program

NEW YORK — Citing a steady decline in civilian reporting of suspicious activity, Metropolitan Transit Authority officials told reporters they are considering dropping their flagship incentive program, commonly known as “If You See Something, Let Us Take An Unflattering Photo Of You”.

Officials say the campaign started as a solution to the problem of citizens who observe potential evidence of terrorism but may be too shy to speak up.

“We thought the best way to reach out to those more timid members of our community would be by photographing them,” said MTA representative Mike Demassi. “So we borrowed the DMV’s camera, positioned it right at chin-level, and captured these everyday heroes as if they were mugshots of people that failed to pay child support. Then we posted the results all over the city so millions of their fellow New Yorkers can see their big, lumpy faces.”

“We’re still not sure why that isn’t enticing to more people,” added Demassi.

Demassi revealed the MTA is currently discussing replacement programs it hopes will encourage more engagement, such as “If You See Something, We’ll Name A Brand of Adult Diapers After You”, and “If You See Something, Your Face Is Now In A Valtrex Ad”.