‘Summer Probably Just Chinese Hoax,’ Says Climate Change-Denying Mayfly

TERRE HAUTE, IN—Attempting to dispel rumors of rising temperatures in the mayfly community, one member of the Ephemera vulgata species says he doesn’t believe in climate change and that the whole concept of “summer” is most likely a myth.

“The earth isn’t getting warmer; that’s just absurd,” said the mayfly, speaking to reporters from a blade of tall grass early this morning. “If anything, temperatures have fallen during my lifetime,” he continued, referring to the period since 5pm last night when he emerged from his pupal sac.

“Whatever ‘summer’ these so-called ‘scientists’ are predicting is probably just a hoax invented by the dragonflies to sabotage our economy,” added the mayfly moments before dying of severe old age.