Terrorist Annoyed Amazon Ads Keep Suggesting R.L. Stine Books

NEWARK, NJ — Calling their recommendations “completely off-base”, ISIS recruit Ibrahim Al-Mughawi told reporters yesterday he is growing increasingly frustrated with Amazon’s targeted ads suggesting he may be interested in “terror”-related books like the Goosebumps series by R.L. Stine.

“It probably started when I Googled something like ‘how to plan night time terror attack on trump tower,’” reports Al-Mughawi. “Then, all of a sudden, the whole internet thinks I want to read A Night in Terror Tower. It’s like, ‘Hey Amazon, I’m not in 4th grade anymore!’”

“What I really hate is getting a bunch of ads for Imodium whenever I try to search for ‘explosives,’” added Al-Mughawi. “Heaven forbid someone looks over my shoulder and assumes I have explosive diarrhea. God, how embarrassing.”

Al-Mughawi says the inaccuracies themselves aren’t nearly as aggravating as the blatant evidence that Google is selling its users’ search history to advertisers.

“It’s an invasion of privacy, to be honest,” said Al-Mughawi. “Private American citizens like myself and the innocent people I’m trying to kill should be able to browse the internet without corporations constantly sticking their nose in our business.”