The Minute Enlightenment: Humans Are Sleeping Less Than They Used To

The Hottest News From the Holiest Sources

Researchers say globally we sleep 20% less than we did 70 years ago, and every major disease that is killing us in the developed world has very strong causal links to deficient sleep. We asked for guidance from three top spiritual advisors:

“Personally, I prefer to get my major illnesses from diet and tainted groundwater.”

Marshall Peabody • Cult Leader

“Maybe if all those people 70 years ago weren’t sleeping so much, they would have noticed the rise of a little guy named Hitler!”

Gobind Singh • Semi-Professional Guru

“What we as humanity lose in precious, health restoring sleep, we make up for in YouTube clips watched.”

Sunflower Schmidt • Honest-to-God Druid