Time Traveler From the Future Doesn’t Seem to Know Much About the Future

CABALLO, NM — In response to questioning from the scientific community after being discovered in a pulsing ball of electricity yesterday morning, time-traveler Megan Munroe from the year 2124 offered a glimpse into humanity’s future, describing it as “same shit, different era”.

Munroe stated that she made the physics-defying journey of her own volition, although when asked how she had manipulated the geometry of spacetime, Munroe declined to confirm whether it was through wormholes or tachyons, saying only that she used “an app”.

Tests on the device Munroe claimed facilitated the leap revealed a quantum-based technology and polymer structure far surpassing anything understood by modern science, and which Munroe referred to as “my crap phone”. Further pressed by an elite team of engineers on the underlying mechanics, Munroe noted that it was the same model from the year 2123, “but with a better camera”.

Next, the time traveler was surveyed on the geopolitical landscape of the distant future. “Things are super screwed up in the middle east, that’s for sure, but I couldn’t give you specifics on who’s doing what,” explained Munroe, while making broad sweeping motions at a world map. “Honestly, I’ve been meaning to watch the news more, but you know how it is.”

Asked about her impressions of 2017, Munroe told reporters, “Your weed sucks.”