10 Things I’d Tell My 20 Year Old Self
In a recent episode of The Unmistakable Creative in which my friend Matt turned the mic on me, he asked me what advice I would give my 20-year-old self. A while back I wrote a letter to my 18-year-old self, so I figured it was fitting the week of my book launch to give some advice to my 20-year-old self. In no particular order of importance, these are just a few of the things I’d say.
1. Don’t Worry So Much
Your natural temptation is to worry about everything. Every single time something goes wrong, you ruminate, obsess and let things consume you. In many cases, the worst case scenario never happens. But when you spend so much time dwelling on it, it’s almost as if it happens over and over. In fact, sometimes it’s a good thing when the worst happens because then you only have to experience it once. Don’t forget that something bad always seems to lead to something good.
2. Don’t Be so Rigid About Your Plans
I hate to tell you this but life won’t go according to plan. In fact, none of it will go according to plan.
- All of your friends will get married and have kids before you do
- All of your friends will figure out what they want to do with their life before you do.
As your good friend Sreoshi always tells you “Srini, it’s not a race. What are you going to do race to the death?”
Your plans are quite predictable and boring. Suburbia, convention, and conformity would drive you to madness. Fortunately for you, none of that is going to work out. Once you’ve crossed off all the checkboxes you’ll realize that your plans were flawed in the first place because they were never yours, to begin with.
3. Things Will Turn out Better than You Imagined
You’ll write books, you’ll plan events, and you’ll even produce a series of animated shorts. Of course sitting in a cubicle, making cold calls, while constantly on the verge of being fired, this is hard to believe. Somebody will invent something called a smartphone, and the gap between your crazy ideas and the technology to make them will become narrower as you get older. The result is that it will be easier and easier to work on things you care about.
4. Have Better Health Habits
It won’t be long before you can only have 2 drinks and wake up with a hangover. I know that’s hard to believe because you think you’re invincible. Eventually staying out until two in the morning, drinking, and smoking between drinks will lose all of its appeal. At your age, that seems ridiculous but eventually partying, nightclubs, and all of it will be far less appealing than getting up at 5am to write and surf.
5. Stop Buying Shit you Neither Need nor Truly Want
By the time you’re 25 you’ll have accumulated many things that you neither need nor want. By the time you’re 38 you’ll have gotten rid of nearly all of them (clothes, electronics, and all sorts of other stuff). You might be horrified to know your new wardrobe consists of nothing but black t-shirts and jeans which you wear every day to do something called deep work. And you have a few nice things for those rare occasions when you have to speak to an audience.
7. Spend Money on Experiences not Things
Things have a shelf life. Experiences live on forever in your memory. It’s one of those things you won’t’ figure out until you’ve wasted a lot of money on things. Surf trips, meals with friends, and the kinds of things that leave you with lots of memories but no excess baggage will lead to a meaningful life.
8. End Relationships You Don’t want to Be In
I’m not sure why you insist on doing so. But you seem to stay far too long in relationships that you never wanted in the first place. It sucks to end them, but the truth is that it’s selfish of you to stay in those relationships. I guess the only way you’re going to learn this is through experience.
9. Talk Less. Listen More.
At some point, this will be the foundation of the work you do because you’ll be in a position where you spend most of your time asking questions. In fact, you’ll get to ask questions to some of the world’s smartest and most interesting people. Apply this to your dating life as well.
10. It’s a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Whether it’s writing books, building a body of work, building a company or achieving anything that you really want to accomplish, try to keep in mind it’s a marathon, not a sprint. Try to have a long term view. The fast track to toe success is paradoxically slow and steady. But you’re an impatient little punk so that will make no sense at all.
Bonus: Don’t work a job based on money, but on responsibility you’ll have
I wish somebody had told me this when I was your age. I read about it a book called the 50th Law. If I could go back in time I’d give this to you. It’s the best piece of career advice I’ve ever read in a book. It’s a short term sacrifice for a long term gain.
Even if I showed up in a time machine with all these supposed words of wisdom, you wouldn’t’ be ready for them because you’re too damn stubborn and closed minded. You think all the people in Berkeley are a bunch of damn hippies, and you think actual suits are better than wetsuits. You probably don’t realize that the suit you will wear more than any other is a wetsuit because you’re an avid surfer. And that might seem hard to believe given your incredibly limited athletic ability. The good news is it’s not a team sport, so you don’t have to worry about being the most improved player on the team (like in 7th grade basketball).
Of course the only way that you know all these things you wish you knew when you were 20 is by not knowing them, totally screwing them up, and learning them the hard way. In fact I wouldn’t change a damn thing.
Before You Go…
If doing the best work of your life is important to you, you’ll love my free guide: “Optimizing Productivity & Creativity.”
The tactics I’ve packed into this guide allowed me to write over 1 million words in the last 2 years. What could it do for your life’s work? Don’t miss it.
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